30 December 2012 | By: Writing Buddha


755th BLOG POST -->>

            And I am back after giving my last examination. It seems as if Entrance exam of MCA happened just 2 weeks ago and I was struggling with the names of good colleges just yesterday. It is hard to believe that I have given my last examination of First Semester. Actually, if you would ask me if I enjoyed this whole session of 5 months, I would say NO. Seriously. At times, it made the situations damn tougher. Only crying used to be left else I reached zenith of frustration at times. I still remember the initial weeks of MCA when I used to see these BSc.IT. guys performing very well in Lab sessions while I used to sit idle and watch them because I don't even know C of Coding. In my BCA degree, we were just taught to pass time. While here, they want us to bring Output. And what surprised me was that every child used to be ready with their respective outputs while I and my friend used to sit and console each other that we will somehow pass. 

           Later on, as teachers realized that the time is less and syllabus is vast, they started running with it in every lecture. And it became more difficult for me to feel good about myself, my college and the course. I am very confident on stage or during Oral examinations but still I preferred to remain out of Internal VIVA because of an unknown fear within me. The second reason was also that this was a new environment then. And no one wants to get into an awkward situation in front of new classmates in the initial weeks itself. Being a human, I didn't follow the same criteria that I follow in life- To be fearless even when I am in front of strangers because they are as bad as me. :-) Here, I went into a zone of inferiority complex. At a stage, I even decided to ask my parents directly that I am not made for coding and programming and I am unable to cope up with this tough syllabus. But some how, I thought of not giving up but trying. And that changed the scenario. 

            On my birthday, I was participant in a Debate competition of my college. In the final stage, the best 10 speakers from my class were selected. Luckily, my classmates chose me. That was the moment when the died confidence in me got a life yet again. I felt that in something, I am better than some of my classmates. And after that, the inferiority complex started reducing. But still, I knew that I wasn't good at coding. As soon as I got Preparation Leave, I devoted all my time in preparing my project myself with the help of a friend. And the day I learnt the basic coding of this weird computer language, I felt so good about myself that I felt that I can at least try to put effort in this semester. And then the preparation begun. I can not say that I will score the best marks or anything of that kind. I can't even assure anyone that I am passing in all the subjects without failing in any of them. But, what I am happy about is that I, at least, tried to put efforts and after putting the efforts, I found that if one would try, one can achieve anything. Because, even I started understanding all the complexities of MCA. 

            Now, I have vacations till 13th January, 2013. I don't know when my results are going to be displayed. I know that that night is going to be tough. I may not even sleep. Ok. Many of you would be saying-"Waise jaise bahut sota hai yeh" Huh! :-) But seriously, I want my result to be something that I have virtually designed in my mind. It may be worst. I am fine. I will prepare again with the same zeal and enthusiasm. Because I have decided that let these Computer Programming languages drag me to a level where I may even start to think of committing suicide but I'll not. I will keep on forcing myself for next 2.5 years. There was no need to write this post here on blog as this is kind of personal diary stuff. But, I did it because I want to thank few people who really helped me in this journey of First Semester of MCA. The credit of this confidence goes to Vandana, Yusuf, Aniket T, Sanjeet P, Manoj G, Saquib S etc. These people have supported me whenever I wanted to. Academically, I have got a big support from all of them. And, in the end, I would like to thank Vandana, Prasad and Vrushali for being with me every time. Without them, I would not have attended college and landed up in Defaulter's List. :-) To all the readers, who kept on motivating me in the times when I welled up my fear on the social medium, a big thanks to all of you. May God bless you all.

P.S.: This post was posted on 27th November but because of technical issues, it didn't get published. :-|



2 CoMMenTs !!! - U CaN aLSo CoMMenT !!!:

Anonymous said...


Keep ON..

Writing Buddha said...

Thanks a lot Raja sir

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