Why do we need someone to feel Belonged in this world???

2025th BLOG POST

Every time I read “human beings are social animal”, I don’t know why but I just get too frustrated because this is one fact that I know is correct but I don’t want to accept and believe it. I want to create an alternate narrative that it’s not necessary to be with people and surviving with yourself with the same happiness and charm is possible. But Life makes you get closer to few people and gradually they become a habit. Their regular meetings or calls or messages or selfies become a routine and then you realize that you can’t live without their presence anymore. It definitely happens in love but apart from this, it can happen with any relationship you hold. It can be parents, siblings, best friends, colleagues, relatives, neighbors etc. You just don’t understand when a certain conversation brings you closer with a person and then rolling back to your own space becomes difficult.

 

I have been an introvert for most part of my life. I say so because there has been phases when I have been a part of a confident group which made me an interactive person for a brief time but as and when I get back to myself, I find solace in silence. Now, when I look back and realize, I see that every now and then, I always had one or more people in life who have been regularly in touch with me. It has somewhere given me the comfort of living life lonely more easily. Why? Because I know for a matter of fact that I have someone with whom I can share whatever comes into my mind. I can share even an idiotic joke with them without worrying about being judged.

 

I also observe that none of these people but became permanent in life. All came for a specific period and them got lost in this busy life somewhere. But they must surely be part of someone else’s routine now. It’s not that people don’t have time to interact but it’s just that their journey in your life was for a limited number of chapters only. Why the hell does this happen? Why can’t we have a set of people who are always with us? And even after regular such experiences, now, in my early 30s, when I find a new person becoming the one who becomes the most important person to me, knowing that they are here for a brief period of time, I keep denying myself that this time it’s going to be untrue. Unfortunately, the same cycle repeats and I again find myself waking, living and working alone. I have only myself to talk to. Every organ in the body wishes to have a person but mind wants to deny the fact. Why accepting few facts aren’t easy?

 

I then try to go back and connect the dots and find if this cycle repeats only with me or almost everyone. Well, because I don’t know much about others, I definitely get into every such person who was once the most important one for me. I try to remember how the conversations started getting weaker and finally ending on a note where there’s just occasional greetings and nothing more than that. I still can’t fathom if I have been wrong or the person on the other side was. One thing I know is that I have always been available but because I give so much in a relationship, I also expect the same from the other side. When I find that I don’t get the same love and respect, I start getting into a shell and shut myself up completely. And as soon as I disappear, it seems that the person on the other side was just waiting for this to happen to get rid of me.

 

Now, I don’t know how can the same cycle repeat every time. Why don’t I just stop expecting? Why don’t I just confront and not keep things in heart? Why don’t I just complain rather than burying all those issues within and eventually making it a reason for killing the relationship? Who’s wrong- the other person or I? How to get to the root of everything and change myself? How do I ask the other person to understand me to understand what I don’t like rather than me having to tell it verbally? I don’t know but keeping a good relationship with anyone is so tough. And after all of this, I want to just get back to myself but then why the system wants to have a friend in life in any form? WHY? Why can’t things be simple? Why can’t I sit on an endless meditation and be with myself rather than disappointing myself with having another relationship end for me? Do you have the answers? Or you have the same questions like me?

 

SILENCE….

 

WRITING BUDDHA

What made my last Delhi trip special.. :-)

2022nd BLOG POST

Recently, I was in Delhi for an official trip for around two weeks. I remember days when I used to think why people are sent of an official tour and what purpose they serve being there. Some time has been travelled since then and I have been to Delhi thrice in last 8 months. There are certain agendas that you have to fulfill professionally but I look upon these trips also as a reason to celebrate my relations with few people with whom I have been physically away since last few years or I can say, decade, too. Hence, every time I am asked to be in Delhi, I make a list of people I wish to meet up whom I haven’t met since long.

 

There was a phase in life when I wasn’t doing great academically and because of few experiences, I had also gone into depression. This happened when I was in Junior college. Mostly, when you are in such state of mind, you seek support. The first people that you look forward to are your family members, relatives and friends. You are okay if your neighbors, classmates, colleagues aren’t with you but when the people with whom you expect support doesn’t turn out, you automatically start distancing yourself from them. The reason for this is not hate but love. Because we love them, we end up getting disappointed too when we don’t feel the same love getting reciprocated. It’s a different story when years later, you get matured and start thinking what you have done for others to expect anything from them - you realize that you have yourself been centered around your life without considering what others must be going through.

 

Well, coming back to the topic – this is the reason why I stopped visiting my relatives after a point of time. I didn’t attend important weddings of my cousins as well as didn’t become a part of a recent funeral too. None of this ever affected me. But I don’t know what happens sometimes to your whole structure of thoughts and notions that you break it in a second without worrying about what would you answer back to the people with whom you kept sharing about your resolution to not do certain things in future. I believe that the supreme force who’s controlling decides it for us. Something like that happened with me in my recent Delhi trip. I managed to meet all our close relatives. I met all my taujis, taijis, chachajis, chachijis, buajis, fufajis and even the cousins who were in town and showed equal interest in meeting me. It was such a pleasant experience.

 

After the trip, when I was traveling back, I was just thinking about what happened suddenly. I never talked with anyone much. I never tried meeting anyone before. How did I then end up meeting everyone in a single trip itself? Am I seeing life with a different lens over my eyes? Or are blood relations so strong that irrespective of whatever you think about each other or how far you live from each other – the bond ends up bringing everyone together in tough times? This is what we have kept seeing in our Bollywood movies, isn’t it? In the end, all the blood relatives end up coming together despite of not being on talking terms for life. Is there some truth to it? I don’t know. I am still thinking loudly.

 

The way everyone welcomed me in their home was so loving and pleasant that I am still in the same aura even after coming back to my home – my favorite city. No one can fake love. If there’s faking around, you can sense it well. But what I sensed was immense love, liking and well, sympathy for me too. I don’t like being sympathized but sometimes situations demand it and you should accept that too. I traveled with my cousins without having any elders around and I got to know them better than before. I saw my elders getting into senior citizenship and it scared me thinking that there will come a phase when we will start losing the older generation. Immediately, I felt more responsible and talked to myself on meeting everyone as much as possible. Maybe, these Delhi trips are planned by Universe to bring me closer to people with whom I share my blood and understand them more in order to learn more about life – including their perspectives too. Everyone has led their life differently and in every home that I stayed, I observed something very distinct from others. Yet, there was some similarity. And that I believe is because of the same family all of us belong to.

 

Because I don’t have my own siblings, I just hate calling my cousins as cousins because I treat all my younger ones as if they are my younger siblings. I like seeing them enjoying. I love spoiling them for the time-frame they are with me. Though I also become a bit obsessive about their careers later on and keep on insisting them to perform well but when I am there with them, I like seeing them spending their time with me on things they love doing. I am always open to them regarding spending my day as per their plan and likings. I impose nothing of mine. This is something I have missed all my life and I ensure I don’t let the opportunity go now.

 

After some years, all of them would be parents and will not be able to afford that immature carefree period anymore. Hence, I want to be there as much as possible with them – I know it’s selfish because I may be trying to fill that empty space in my life but it is also out of pure love for them. I wish best for them. When I find some of my brothers taller than me now, I understand the happiness my elders got seeing me getting taller than them. I used to think, then, as a child, about why do people feel happy seeing others getting taller and good-looking than them. I understand that so well now. I also get annoyed when I find them taking life too easy and spoiling their constructive years in destructive habits.

 

Well, in the end, I would like to ask all of you who are from my generation – Are we not becoming, thinking and preaching like our parents and relatives did which we never liked? Haha!

 

Thanks!

 

WRITING BUDDHA 

What "LIFE of PI" teaches us in that one single scene...

1987th BLOG POST

2021 – The year I think will always stay with me as a memory – a memory – bad or a learning one – I don’t know – but the date whenever I’ll have to mention 2021 will give me goosebumps. It has been very difficult in all terms for me – either personal or professional. Luckily and I should also give credit to my resolution towards bettering my health that this department stayed great for most of the times. I also tried many experiences for the 1^st time such as a long road trip of around 3200 kilometers which is something I always wanted to do since we started owning a car as a family. But all of these examples are like few good scenes from a bad movie which you’ll never recommend to anyone. At times, I think why did I even had to have these few good experiences in the year which I would always rate as one of the worsts for myself. I could have kept it due for 2022 or maybe for 2023 or well, 2024.. and so on…

 

You must have watched the movie – “Life of Pi” starring none other than Irrfan Khan who is no more with us. I always wanted to watch it but I think it was destined for me to watch it only in 2021 i.e. 9 years after its release only after I have suffered same experiences. Thanks to Amazon Prime otherwise I don’t know how much time it must have taken more for me to reach the movie. Obviously, the whole movie is worth watching and every scene is a delight but something that stuck with me is one of the last scenes in which Irrfan Khan cries while narrating it. Even I cried in that scene and it tore my heart like anything. He speaks of the instance where their boat finally reaches the shore and the Tiger finds a forest nearby. He feels that Tiger will once turn back to see him before getting back onto his life as he had done everything possible to protect him for months in the middle of the sea. But Tiger doesn’t turn back even once and enters the forest without giving a damn to Irrfan Khan’s character. It hurts him so much that even after years, it makes him cry remembering the event.

 

Seeing that scene, I felt as if it was so much about me. No, I am not trying to portray myself as someone who is always good to others but still gets ill-treated. I am talking only about one-two people here with whom I tried my best to ensure that the relationship gets strong and beautiful gradually or instantly, but when it came about showing the same love back to me, just like that Tiger, they didn’t think twice about me but went ahead in creating a great life for themselves without caring about my feelings. It made me understand that movie so well because it wanted to tell us about the basic nature of few human beings who doesn’t care about what you did for them but the moment, they find a good opportunity for themselves, they’ll move ahead without worrying or giving a damn about you.

 

And the recent two cases had happened with me in the year 2021 itself and I just couldn’t stop crying watching that scene. I could feel the pain Irrfan Khan was trying to portray for the only time he cried during the whole movie. You see people choosing a different set of people than you when it comes to their priority irrespective of whatever efforts you have put up to include them in your life. You see people not even coming to say a good-bye to you for whom you did everything for every day you were with them just to make them feel pleasant and not miss that broken part of their life. What is the solution or remedy to this? Is there something which can provide you immunity against such people who cares and loves themselves more than you even in conditions where a small gesture could have made you feel loved?

 

I don’t think there’s anything that can ever protect you against such gestures of people. You are bound to get hurt hence you should never ever expect. Yes, the same old cliché advice but we don’t know how we end up having expectations in relationships and keep on punishing our heart, mind and sometimes, even our soul. And let me tell you – healing a broken heart and mind is still easy and time-limited task but healing a damaged soul can take your whole life. Wish we had little sensitive people around us to understand that. Maybe they aren’t wrong. It is we who lack understanding of people or the circumstances lead us in expecting from them. Something needs to be corrected within us and in our lives to ensure maximum happiness from relationships we indulge in. Well, that’s it. I know the start of 2022 is getting quite depressing on this Blog but I am unable to get away with the pain 2021 has left upon my soul. May God bless me soon with a happy soul.

 

Thanks.

 

WRITING BUDDHA 

Be Wary of Fake & Pretentious People around You!

 1977th BLOG POST

When we hear someone say that they have met fake people in their life, we feel that they are exaggerating about their experiences. But let me tell you, sometimes, you get a bigger experience in life which changes everything for you because of one fake person who has been your closest whereas on daily basis, you meet people faking one or the other story about themselves which impacts you like a slow poison does. Now, the most common example of being fake is evident on social media. All of us want to show people how happy and exploratory we are. Even if we go outside for purchasing milk, andif we find a great cloud formation or a nice arrangement of vehicles on the road, we just click a picture and share in our temporary stories about how exciting our life is. People think that you are traveling somewhere or chilling out whereas their own life is all about sucking up to their bosses till midnight.

 

Such arrangements on social media have really made people live less of their lives and more of a life which is just to post about themselves online. If you’ll get someone pizza, they’ll not eat it first but share it on their accounts to make their friends know that in the same world where they’re having lauki, turai, palak, you are having pizza whereas the truth is – everyday you must be having the same sabzis or even worst – but by pretending on a certain day, you are trying to establish an image of eating only expensive foods and enjoying life to the fullest. Similarly, I see people on trip – they enjoy the view later but first want to get it clicked so that they can share it with people. After that, even if you take them away from that spot, they have no complaints because their job is done. They have already faked it in front of people that they are enjoying something majestic. The truth always remains to be known to them – that they just got it clicked but didn’t spend even 10 seconds looking at that beauty which may have connected them to their roots, soul, or source of happiness.

 

This was an example about social media, people are even faking in real life in different ways. People earning less are faking by purchasing big cars and mobiles on EMI. Students not studying are faking by choosing a competitive exam and spending good amount of their young age in pretending to be studying. People in job are not preparing for their future which is going to change due to AI and ML but sharing that certificate of 2 hours of free course they completed sitting at home on a website. People in toxic relationship share selfies as if their relationship is the strongest in the whole world. Similarly, few rich people are faking to be middle class by not letting people reach their private space and know about the kind of backing their parents/grandparents have left for them. The students who are working hard on academics are faking about watching movie marathon every day so that their peers can get engaged in the same whereas they can spend the same time in building their bright future. Same applies to the people doing well in job – every time you meet them, they’ll tell you how bullshit their life, package, boss, job profile is whereas in reality, they are paying taxes which are equivalent to your 3 years savings.

 

You get amazed, surprised, shocked, astonished, broken and shattered- all at once - when you find someone like this in your life or if you are the victim having considered their fake-ness as reality. When the truth surfaces you, you just end up wondering if this has happened with you only with this concerned person or everyone is similar, and you are being fooled since eternity of the past from everyone you believe. Sometimes, even if you must pretend in front of all, at least to the people closest to you, you need to specify that the reality is something else and not what you are trying to project for others. This makes you relevant and trustworthy. Trust once broken can’t be fixed ever. Hence, pretending in front of the people who are wishing well for you, spouse, parents, real friends, close relatives etc. is the biggest crime you must be committing the result of which would be very ugly if it ever comes out. You will lose every such person from your life who were not pretending- but genuinely loving you. And such people are very rare these days.

 

Also advise to the people who are broken or overcoming from the fact that their closest person ended up fooling them, realize and understand that it’s us who are fool which has been used cleverly by the people. Stop trusting people with blind eyes. Use your senses and keep testing people time-to-time to understand their real colours. It helps you in filtering the useless chaps or soon-to-be-toxic relationships out from your life – or keeping a distance from them. And let me tell you, when you prepare likewise, the chances of getting hurt or being vulnerable keeps getting reduced gradually. What more would we want for ourselves, isn’t it? Well, think about this and let me know if you have experienced something like this.

 

Thanks.

 

WRITING BUDDHA 

Happy 31st Marriage Anniversary to my Dear Parents!

1809th BLOG POST -->>

There are few things we can’t chose in life and it completely depends on our karma in past life. We can choose everything except our parents. The role of parents becomes very important in terms of how we shall be brought up, the kind of culture, rituals and traditions we shall be taught, the kind of lifestyle we shall be given and how well they behave among themselves and with us.

My parents took a tough decision of keeping a Single Child and since I remember, they have always provided me whatever was necessary for me and not what I wanted. This made me understand the value of money and needs since my childhood. My parents always suggested me to stay with good friends though I, myself, was the naughtiest of them all. Well, they didn’t know it then. Haha!

Today, my parents complete 31 years of their sacred marriage and I am so proud of the way they were able to uplift their and my life with the minimal resources they were blessed with. Never in any situation did I see my parents falling apart and losing the willpower but every time, we, as a family fell down, they managed to get up and move forward.

I am blessed to have both- my father and mother in my life which allowed me to do so many things without ever restricting my dreams worrying if my parents shall allow me or not. They have always been a great couple living all their life to see their only son become as successful as possible.

Dear Papa and Mummy, I wish both of you a very Happy Marriage Anniversary and hope that the sense of humour that both of you have which I have also inherited never gets less at any point of time. Rather than worrying about my health now, I wish to see both of you healthy forever. Let’s build a healthy family here onwards.

I love both of you over and above anyone and anything like every good child.

Thanks!

View this post on Instagram

There are few things we can’t chose in life and it completely depends on our karma in past life. We can choose everything except our parents. The role of #parents becomes very important in terms of how we shall be brought up, the kind of culture, rituals and traditions we shall be taught, the kind of lifestyle we shall be given and how well they behave among themselves and with us. . My parents took a tough decision of keeping a #SingleChild and since I remember, they have always provided me whatever was necessary for me and not what I wanted. This made me understand the value of money and needs since my childhood. #MyParents always suggested me to stay with good friends though I, myself, was the naughtiest of them all. Well, they didn’t know it then. Haha! . Today, my parents complete 31 years of their #sacredmarriage and I am so proud of the way they were able to uplift their and my life with the minimal resources they were blessed with. Never in any situation did I see my parents falling apart and losing the willpower but every time, we, as a #family fell down, they managed to get up and move forward. . I am blessed to have both- my #father and #mother in my life which allowed me to do so many things without ever restricting my #dreams worrying if my parents shall allow me or not. They have always been a great #couple living all their life to see their only #son become as #successful as possible. . Dear Papa and Mummy, I wish both of you a very #HappyMarriageAnniversary and hope that the sense of humour that both of you have which I have also inherited never gets less at any point of time. Rather than worrying about my health now, I wish to see both of you healthy forever. Let’s build a healthy family here onwards. . I love both of you over and above anyone and anything like every good child. 😊

A post shared by Abhilash Ruhela (@writingbuddha) on Nov 23, 2019 at 7:09am PST

When your Friends are near but yet so far..

1679th BLOG POST -->>

India is celebrating its Friendship Day today, the concept that has been adopted from Western culture but I believe it should be there since I have started working in this Corporate lifestyle where you work so hard throughout the day that you end up directly sleeping after reaching at home giving no times to your friend. If there would not have been these inventions of Whatsapp and Facebook, I can’t even imagine the kind of communication gap that would have got generated between friends. These days people are not having time for that too and they end up sharing just morning and night wishes by directly broadcasting a message to all. When a day for Friendship is celebrated on a Sunday, it is quite obvious that at least out of guilt even those who do not believe in these days will get out of their home and meet their friends for celebrating their Friendship. We will have to stop saying now that everyday is Friendship Day and now just one. It is not! You know it rightly.

Those are college days when you spend morning to evening with your friends only laughing like a crazy mad-man on stupid jokes which has no meaning whatsoever. Your energy in college does not get consumed until and unless it’s a Viva day or assignment-submission day. Hence, you have enough ecstasy to sit with your friends, hang-out with them and create long-lasting memories which are going to stay with you till your last breath. But the moment college ends and you land up in the real world full of responsibilities and tasks assigned to you with a deadline, you do not have energies left to give time to your relationships. The inflation is rising and your focus remains on only earning money to be able to beat this inflation and be in line with the MEHENGAAYI! And after getting married, the family responsibilities are enough for both- you and your friend to give yourselves third priority now after job and family.

Having Friends is necessary in life and they should be respected for whatever time they give you. Everyone in this busy life has lots of responsibility either at work or home and number of people to meet whom they have not seen in a long time. Even after all of this, if they have chosen to meet you out of everyone else, you should acknowledge their efforts too. I had never given such importance to friendship while I was studying but now when I sit lonely on that office desk trying to prove myself in every second that I stay there, I miss my friends who wanted to spend time with me when I didn’t for my personal goals. I would like to take a moment on this Friendship Day to apologize to all of my friends who wanted to spend time with me but I didn’t give them time which they expected from me. Today when I want to meet them, they are so busy with their life that they don’t give me time. Yes, karma returns. But I would again like to gain something from this Friendship Day and so I request my friends to take some time and meet me. Your friend is shy and does not tell you that he wants to meet you. But please do understand my unspoken words.

Thanks. I love you all.

ABHILASH RUHELA!!!

When I realized the damage I did since last 8 years..

1550th BLOG POST -->>

Last month, my MBA 1^st year results got declared while I was in office struggling with some issue. I took out the time and checked the results and found that I passed with very respectable marks. Distinction! I was so glad, happy and proud about it that I wanted to celebrate the case with my friends. But before that, I thought of at least informing few of my friends about it on Whatsapp and then calling them up for a meet or something. But then I got busy again in the production issues that are more frequent in IT field than the lines of code all developers write together. When I came home in the evening and thought of breaking the news to my friends, I actually realized that I have no one in my life that I can celebrate this achievement with. I was all alone. To one person whom I had sent on Whatsapp, in the reply, I just received a THUMB smiley representing the most favorite act on social media- LIKING something. And that was all.

I held mobile in my hands and scrolled through all my contacts in the list and found no one who I can break the news to. In the midst of this process, I suddenly felt a grave loneliness. Not the loneliness we always talk about, but the loneliness that is the result of being ignored and thrown away by the society. It was humiliating, snubbing, helpless and depressing. By that time, I had long tears flowing down my cheeks on the bedsheet while I was searching for that one name that I can call my friend. Then I started counting the people who were very close to me once and considering that camaraderie I could have called them easily and there were lot of them. It was then I realized what I had done to myself. I started sending HII to most of them but in response, received HII only from 2 to 3 of them. Now, I wasn’t trying to call them for a celebration but to let myself feel little content that at least few of them remember me still.

I remember Haruki Murakami’s quote-“I'm not trying to imply I can keep up this silent, isolated facade forever. Sometimes the wall I've erected around me comes crumbling down.” Something like this had happened with me. To write blogs, to read more books, to do different activities, I had always sacrificed one thing before anything else- Friendships. I felt that why do I need friends in life when I have all of these to spend my life with. But this sounds great, I think, only in college times when you want to stay isolated from the noise as everyone around you is just talking, screaming and howling. When you start your professional life, for the whole day, you are sitting alone at your desk/cubicle with a monitor with no one to talk with. And after leaving the office after several late-sitting sessions, you want to meet up some of your friends at least on weekends. Hence, now I have started realizing that too much of peace and isolation is also not good.

Anyways, that moment made me realize the kind of person I am. Even though I have never done any intentional bad to anyone but still I had no one on one of my most important days of my life which made me rethink about my priorities and I immediately changed myself. I never let myself do wrong for a long period of time as I want to regret as less as possible in the last days of my life. In the last week of January, I met my Rakhi-sister. In the first week of February itself, I met 4 important people of my life who have a big role in my college life. One of them had met me after 2.5 years almost even though we were chaddi-buddies in Graduation days. I am Impossible. Seriously! Last week itself I met another graduation friend with whom I always had meaningful and life-enriching conversations. And now I am making continuous efforts to call and meet up all the rest of my friends whom I had left behind in this quest of nothingness called Peace which is not right when you sometimes need socialism and sharing. All my friends are surprised and seeing my messages for connecting with them, I am getting only one reply,”Bhai, kuch hua hai kya?” Now, how to tell them that bhai ko abhi nahi pehle jaroor kuch ho gaya tha.. Haha!

Thanks.

ABHILASH RUHELA - VEERU!!! 

My Parent's togetherness: 27 YEARS and still counting.... Haha!!!

1362nd BLOG POST -->>

   This week my parents celebrated their 27th marriage anniversary and I just couldn’t lose the opportunity of talking about them. If my life is worthy of keeping anyone with it till its last breathe, it’s none other than these 2 people who have done almost everything possible for them to do for me. Now, as I have myself started earning, I can see how difficult it becomes to save for our old age plus spend in few unavoidable expenditures like bills, railway pass etc and over that, fulfil the basic requirement of myself. I still do not have a family and I can see moon in noon when it comes to saving money. I am saving but the whole budgeting things become too harsh for me to even think of marrying and settling down. And over this, my mother and father lived almost 80% of their married life in a very small salary but still managed to do almost everything that a lower middle class family always dreams about. They, with their struggles, have managed to bring our whole family at a level where I can undoubtedly say that we are leading a lifestyle of a higher middle class family but still with many restrictions. We are still not allowed to do many things because we know that the way we have built everything will crash in a blink. 

              Some 6 years ago when I had realized what really my parents had done for me all their lives, I had decided that whatever would be possible from my side, I would do it for them and give them that part of luxury which they had only experienced in homes of other richer friends. I have managed to do quite many of them but I have many more dreams for them. I am not trying to return them everything back what they did for me because that’s practically impossible to do. They had decided to keep their heart away from their body the day they had decided to have a baby. And because I am that isolated part of their body which is actually the reason of their life now, I feel that I should do everything first for them and then for myself. Yes, I know I become rebellious when it comes about few decisions but basically, for the reasons that really matters, I am always obedient to whatever they say. 

               My parents are over-protective of me which often makes me angry but when I think in silence, I feel that I must have done the same with them in some other particular situation. I know whenever in life I shall hurt them by taking any decision, I am going to face lot of calamities because of going with that particular decision. Therefore, often, I move back after walking a small distance on the path that they had asked me not to take because I know it would have something dangerous and risky ahead. My parents can never stop me for something which is really qualitative and life-appreciating but they will fight with me and even become my enemies to stop me taking the path which will cause even a small amount of pain to me sometimes in future. I do not know how they do this being so selfless but if they can do this, I can definitely ask for their advice before taking any decision.

                   I do not know how few children love arguing, fighting and proving their parents wrong every day. Even for a small thing said by their parents make them enough rebellious to humiliate their parents in front of the outsiders sometimes. And they feel proud of this. They feel its appreciating to display in public how they dominate their parents and aren’t a doodh peeta hua bachcha or Mamma’s boy. They do not know that they only get abuses after they leave the room from the people who experience it happening. My parents have fulfilled all my major dreams and I have taken an oath that whatever my parents feel is beneficial for them to feel that they have lived life full of contentment and there’s nothing that’s still left in the To-Do List of their life, I am not going to give up until each one of them is fulfilled and tick marked.  

             I thank my parents on their 27th marriage anniversary for providing me an easy life as compared to few friends of mine who are living to fulfil their family’s basic necessities rather than executing luxuries of life. My parents had planned their life wonderfully and I am going to plan mine similarly so that I can give my family and my children the same pleasing life as I am enjoying currently. May god bless them and I hope they keep complimenting each other so beautifully and improvise the quality of their lives and living. My best wishes are with them and I wish I am always near them before taking any big decision of my life. I hope Sai Baba is considering this request. :-)

 Thanks.

 ABHILASH RUHELA – VEERU!!! 

Why my father is different from others :-)

1315th BLOG POST -->>

       My father celebrated his 55th birthday 2 days back. I missed him a lot throughout the day and held my tears many a time in office. Though we had party but my mind was engaged in little moments that I have shared with my father. He may not be one of the most successful men but he have definitely fulfilled all the basic needs I stipulated to achieve several dreams I lived with throughout my childhood and college life. Whenever I sit alone and think about several dots that I have managed to connect in my life and make myself stand on my legs, I conclude that whatever I have achieved or even managed to dream is because of the life my father provided me. I am going to be 26 years old within a month and I am finally quite settled in my life now. If I look behind and see, I find my father not being present in most of the achievements I earned.   

            Since 2008, my father has been living in different cities or countries while my mother and I are managing ourselves in Mumbai. It is the same year when I was going through depression and didn't want to study. I was creating enough nuisance for my family which made it difficult for my parents to sleep peacefully even for a single night. My father had lost all the hope he had from his son. Now he knew that all the financial support he would be getting in life will only be through what efforts he'll put in life because his son has lost the path and can commit suicide at any point of time. I didn't understand the trauma of the situation then but now I am quite evident of the fact my family was going through. But actually, my life became stable and started growing from 2009 on wards. 

           I got first rank among the pupils who gave entrance exam for Mumbai branch of Bharati Vidyapeeth's BCA. I scored 3rd rank thrice during Graduation along with many other achievements. I became a Blogger and got several opportunities in life because of the tag that came along with it. Then I joined MCA and did much better in life with stable performances and yes, also the best performance of my life since 10th std. By this time, I also started getting invited to the events which had various celebrities attending it. And now recently, I also got certified as Software Tester with A grade from the most reputed institute. I have just completed my first month at job. In all of these events which changed my life and turned me into a man from a boy, my father wasn't with him. He have only heard about these events on phone or read it on Whatsapp. He only saw my routine till the time I was wasting my life but never saw my lifestyle since I changed myself in a better version of myself. 

           Yes, may be he would be happy about the fact that his son didn't lose his path without an authoritative presence of father around him. May be, he would feel that he nourished his son in a way which made him feel enough responsible even when he didn't have anyone to control him because mothers can be easily fooled by sons. Haha! But still, I am sad about the fact that my father didn't see me getting developed. I only remember one instance when he went along with me for admission in MCA otherwise he has majorly been in the place where he worked. 

            He is doing the job still in a different country not because he is assuming his son won't support him financially as this generation is known to be selfish but he is doing it to make my life more easier. His plan is to make me feel independent about the money I'll earn and not worry that my parents have to be taken care by my money. He wants me to live my life as lavishly as I want and do not find the obstacle of parent's need in between. What would you say about such father? Is there any words that can make you feel he is not special? Which parent think so DEEPLY about their child's future life? Even now after I have got job, I asked him to fulfill one more dream of mine as I wish to be an MBA too. And he didn't question even once that I should do it with my money as I have started earning. He got ready to invest his money upon me once again. But when I asked for a new bike, he clearly refused. That's my father. :-) He does for what I need before than what I just want. 

           A very HAPPY BIRTHDAY to him and I wish when he'll be back at home after 3 years as he would be getting retired, he will get to see how his son is leading his life by being busy either in studying something else after MBA or writing blog or book or reading another novel. But I'll do almost everything to make him forget the son who made him cry in sorrow and pain. I'll make him cry.. Yes, I will, in happiness and pride time and again. That's my promise. I love you, papa. And thanks for everything if it's possible to let parents know that we know what they have done to make us a good human being by thanking them. :-)

 Thanks.

 ABHILASH RUHELA- VEERU!!!

I'm a Mamma's Boy and I am PROUD of it!

1251st BLOG POST -->>

At a wedding reception recently

           Mother's Day is here and how can I not write about the world's most beautiful human species! And co-incidentally even the Blog number is 1251st and this, also, is 71st Blog Post of this year. Also this is 7th post of this month. All of them auspicious numbers according to Hindu culture. Every mother I have found till date always have only one concern- Is my child moving in the right direction? Tell her anything that can improve her child's future and she will get ready to do that. Ask her to visit a temple 1500 kilometers far and she will do that. Ask her to feed cows daily for next 365 days and she will spend every morning searching for cows on roads and do the needful. Ask her to recite a mantra for 10,001 times daily and she will do that without thinking what amount of her time is getting spent on it every day. That's how selfless mothers are and therefore anyone who disrespect his/her mother is disowned by society and never looked with respect anytime again in life. 

          My mother goes in several parties and once she returns back, I ask how was the party, her ratings are always inversely proportional to the quality of food. She says,"Khaana toh achcha tha par mujhe maza nahi aa rha tha kyunki tu nahi khaa paa raha tha aur teri yaad aa rahi thi". And this is always a reason of argument in our home whenever we get invited somewhere. She is a socialite while I love to stay alone. But her main purpose to take me anywhere is because she wants me to enjoy whatever she is enjoying in her life. She can't see me missing any kind of happiness in life. Such is the sweetness of mother that we can never touch even if we give our lives for them. She will still be the biggest and love you more than you do. I have also seen few mothers who tell how their sons/daughters have hurt them a lot but they are still ready to accept them if they return back home. Any competition here? 

          My mother got operated on 13th March, 2015. Yes, just 2 months ago. A day before i.e. on 12th, she prepared food for next 2 days for both, my father and I. She also dusted and cleaned the whole house saying that she is not sure till when will she again be able to do all this with her fullest of capabilities. She made almost 3 liters of guava juice for us as whenever for brushing and bathing, we would come home, we will have to suffer scorching summer heat for 5 minutes on bike and this will give us little comfort at home. Seeing how she had managed home even when she wasn't present for 3 days, it made me cry a bit of times because I really felt for her. I, being 25 and totally fit, cannot do what she does at this age when she shouldn't put so much of herself in these physical activities. 

     

At Marine Drive last year

    And this is not the extreme. When she was getting operated on 13th, I was attending an event in Worli. I had told my parents that I won't be attending that event as I know how much I will miss my mother and won't be able to concentrate whatever would be taking place there. But my mother said that I'm not the one who would be operating her. I can not do anything if the things go wrong so it's better for me to take this opportunity which doesn't come daily. I was surprised. I knew how much support she will get just by knowing that her son is standing just few meters away when she would be taken for operation. After event, I managed to reach when she was getting operated. I came and waited outside the Operation Theater to hear what doctor have to say and see my mother in a better condition. Doctor had told us that she is unconscious and it will take some time for her to wake up. 

            But he added that she is continuously saying something which they are unable to understand. As soon as we were allowed to stand closer to her, I heard her taking my name "Veeru.. Veeru.. Veeru.." continuously. She was unable to speak as she wasn't served water for a long time but her lips were continuously moving. As soon as my father and I saw her taking my name incessantly, both of us were in tears. Doctor and nurses asked me to stand near her and continuously caress her head as it will make her realize that I am with her and nowhere away. And as soon as I did so, she opened her eyes slowly and saw me. The sigh of relief that she took was easily visible in her whole body language. And when she got to know that I am with her, she started uttering "Paani Paani Paani" as she was feeling thirsty after an operation of 45 minutes. But doctor had made us aware of not letting her have water for next 15 hours. I was feeling so helpless that I can't give her what she wants even when she is expecting that I'll do everything for her in this helpless condition now.

          I never get chance to serve her and I made sure that in those 3 days, I will do whatever possible and make her feel that she has a son on whom she can rely and feel secured. I knew that every time she will think that her son is a support, it would be my victory as a good son and good human being. There's nothing more enriching and goodly as treating your parents selflessly and immensely. I also see how she cares for our house considering that papa stays away from us for a whole year. Never ever do I feel that a work is stopped because of hurdles. She always manages to get things executed. In my life, if there's someone I can blindly rely upon, it's my mother and no one else. I have my 22,23,24-year old girl friends and I continuously crib upon them as to how my mother does everything since morning to midnight and never complains while they create nuisance even when their bags are little heavier than regular days. They may feel that I'm a Mamma's boy and I have no problem with that. I am proud to be a Mamma's boy. And I pray God that he keeps me grounded and kiddish ever that I never forget who's boy I have to be. :-)

 Thanks.

 ABHILASH RUHELA - VEERU!!! 

My Father's 25th Year as Father :-)

1092nd BLOG POST -->>

           

Though people say that Father's Day is originated in West because they kick their parents in old-age home and keep remembering them for a day each year to make them feel special but still I take this as an opportunity to talk about my dad each year on Blog. yesterday, Father's Day was celebrated with great enthusiasm and respect at every home where Fathers are seen as Heroes. I have always learned almost every new thing from my father. I know that my father may not be good at many things but I know that he knows at least little about every thing. This makes him a good adviser whenever I want to know something about anything, I approach my father. He has been one of the most ambitious fathers I have ever seen though I have become something else only than what he wanted me to be. :-) But still his passion in developing me lies as mainstream as it ever was.

          My father has assured right from my childhood that he wants me to be different from herds. For that, he has sometimes troubled himself, my mother and most of time, me. Haha! But he made it sure that I am always creative in whatever I do. He taught me skating when no one in my colony had seen skates. He taught me to see dictionary when children were still trying to correct their pronunciation. He taught me to mug G.K. books when children didn't know who the Prime Minister of India is. He made me read 8th class's English textbooks when I was still in 3rd std. He made me read newspaper in class 4 when my friends only saw their fathers with a big paper in their hands. When he read my Blog for the first time, it was he who told me to work upon my writing skills otherwise I won't last long in this field. To develop me, he beat me, made me stand outside home for hours, snubbed me but that has made me achieve little what I have till now in Academics, blogging and reading. I owe my success to my father as much as I owe it to my mother.

            In childhood, I wasn't very close to my father because every time, I saw him, I knew that I might end up getting beaten for studies or something else. That's the image I carried of him. But as soon as I reached 11th std, I found a very different father than what I saw him in childhood. Now he loves having long conversations, marketing, cooking, drinking tea, taking advises etc with me. He gives almost all his time whenever he is with me. I am not scared of him anymore. In fact, I see him as a friend and I know that I can discuss anything with him except it is something related to spending money on some luxurious item. Haha! 

            I have never seen a single person in my father's friend circle or among his brothers who have taken as much risks as my father has taken in his career. Till date, he has changed 16-18 jobs but never ever he sat at home for a month without salary. That's the enigma of this man. None among his brothers even after completing Engineering and Masters left India to explore themselves in foreign countries while my father has been to Italy and Saudi Arabia two times. He is currently in Saudi Arabia and it is such a proud thing for me to tell my pals that I am son of an NRI. Having a home is in itself a big challenge while my father possesses one in Mumbai even after being in middle-class range of people. My father feel like resting and that's the only case where we have differences. I ask him to work till he is breathing to make sure that he has purpose in life while he says that enough has been done. That's how pride, love, adoration and differences between a father and son goes hand in hand. 

            On this Father's Day, I wish my father gives more importance to exercising so that he lives his old age traveling and running with me than being on bed with heavy doses of medicines and glucose. I wish my father can single-handed-ly take our family from middle class to upper middle class without my support. I know my support makes him twice stronger than he is but that's pretty obvious that I would be always there with him in any dream that he pursues. He taught me so many things since childhood that I wonder sometimes if I would be able to help him in new technologies, Internets and various other things that he might not have seen in his generation. I promise that I will never make him weep like I did sometimes in past. He is very proud of me and happy with my achievement these days. I wish the streak continues and I can be the best-ever son possible. This is his 25th year as father and I wish our future years would be more delighting than these 25 years where almost 90% have gone in struggle to strengthen our basics. On this Father's Day, I can only end up saying that I will try to support him as much as possible from my side. :-)

 Thanks.

 ABHILASH RUHELA - VEERU!!!

Ignore Friends Little More For Your MOTHER!!!

1085th BLOG POST -->>

     

        All of us are busy celebrating Mother's Day in our own way. For me, the day I make my mother feel special is her birthday. Birthday is one day when everyone wants to be treated special. Everyone wants his/her birthday to be the best day of the year for him/her. Hence, I make it sure that my mother never feel that her birthday has been just another day of her life. But coming to Mother's Day, I don't generally do something above ordinary. But because ladies in the society sits together and talks what their respective kids did for them on Mother's Day, I didn't want my mother to feel left out. Hence, I always treat her with some delicious snacks from the food chain near my house. That's all I do on the Mother's Day because I don't feel she deserves to be treated so well today that she might start feeling on other days I don't do anything for her. So let's remain normal so that she would feel why child is always at his best let it be any day. Haha!

            Mothers are so selfless that we, the children, feel guilty about it 1000 times in our life. Let us try as much as we want but we can never surpass the amount of love our mothers bestow over us. Even if anyone of us will make something like Taj Mahal for our mother, still that would not be enough to show how much mothers do for us. Their love is immortal. Even when a man turns 70 years old, when he remembers his mother's sacrifices for him, he sheds tears without feeling shy. For me, my mother is a role model considering all the non-celebrities I look forward to. :-)

         I love working almost every time. It is said that a man is defined by what he does when he has nothing to do. And therefore I make sure I am always into act of productivity even when I am done with my examinations, blogging and reviewing works. Whenever I feel that I am feeling down, I see at my mother. She is still working. She works right from the moment she opens her eye in the dawn till the time she is not back to sleep. Seeing her energetic and workaholic at this age of hers, I start feeling sick about myself. I get up and start doing some other work with the same intensity as I finished the previous one to be in the league of my mother. She is 47 years old and still does all the household chores. We still don't have maid for any work in our house. While other ladies of her age are busy sleeping in afternoon while their maid works, my mother is always at toes. How much is there to learn from my mother and how much less I am adapting it in my life. 

          2 weeks ago, I gave my practical examinations. I was feeling very low during the exam days because of less preparation and alien programming languages in the semester. My mother kept giving me strength all the week to make sure that I don't quit even before trying. I was sure I'll flunk but my mother was there to tell me that I will return back home smiling. It happened the way she had planned my fate to play. I came home and hugged her tightly and thanked her with my gestures. I promised her a treat before going to examination if I perform well. Following, I took her for a long ride over 3 fly-overs, gave her treat in the biggest McDonald's store she had ever visited and returned home happily after the calm moments there. My mother was so happy to see me smiling that she kept on requesting to start studying for theory examinations if I don't want to be scared the same way I was before practicals. That's how every mothers are. 

          I feel bad when I see my friends not thinking about their parents and wasting all their money with their friends itself. It's good to travel and hang out with your friend circle but don't forget, it's your mother who makes your tiffin every morning before you leave and wait to ask you for your choice before making dinner. How can you forget her and enjoy with your friends every moment of life? Why not avoid friends little more and give time to your mother. Realize that as you are stepping into adulthood, your mother is also stepping into her old age. Once she is old, she might not be able to enjoy every luxury of life. She may not be able to see, walk or even talk. Don't miss this precious time with her that you have. Your life is easy because you have mother, go and ask the ones who sleep daily after crying wishing to have a mother like others. Your mother can teach you every thing except how to love her back with the same warmth and selflessness. 

         Happy Mother's Day to all the Mothers of this world.

 Thanks.

 ABHILASH RUHELA - VEERU!!!