Get Committed to Yourself

 2092nd BLOG POST

While I was working upon my new year resolutions for 2024, I just thought of going through what I had thought of achieving in 2023. Though the target wasn’t very out of my zone yet when I was going through the unachieved ones – I realized that I fell back on so many of them which could have been achieved very easily. In hindsight, we always retrospect. But sometimes, I think if retrospection is just another form of procrastination or it does bring something positive out of the whole exercise. Thinking of many such instances, I feel that every time we have failed in achieving anything, it is not because of any external factor but our lack of commitment towards ourselves.

 

If we promise something to our friend, we go all our way along to ensure that we don’t fail in executing what we promised them. Similarly, if we are at work and we have committed to a deadline, we go all our way to send that mail on that EOD so that we aren’t blamed for any failures. Even with the person we love or have soft corner for – not necessarily a love relationship – we don’t want to disappoint them at all. We will go through sleepless nights just for readying that gift we know would make them extremely happy on their special day. But what happens when the same is expected towards our own well-being? Why do we feel that we aren’t answerable to anyone even if we don’t provide ourself the required on the expected day?

 

I have understood that success and failure are never guaranteed even if we put all the hard efforts that are required to achieve anything but what one requires the most is commitment towards one’s own self. We lack the intensity when it comes to promising anything to ourselves but yet we expect great things to happen with us. There may be multiple times when you must have promised yourself of a better lifestyle… of dedicating certain amount of time every day for yourself – on your health – on your reading habits – on improving your skill sets – on your studies – on your family life etc. But every time, you must have ignored it as generously as you had decided upon following them. Why are we so careless towards ourselves?

 

We think that someone else will come up one day in form of a great friend, sibling, parent, stranger or an opportunity will fall upon the sky and do everything for us all of a sudden. We feel that life just needs that one miracle which must have been written in my destiny to happen which will give meaning to all the failures and struggles that we are walking upon. Why don’t we understand that no one else is going to come to help us out from our misery? Even if someone would want to help us, they can only devote a limited time out of their own busy schedule for us. We can never rely on anyone else to be committed to us when we are ourselves in a toxic relationship with our own self.

 

Our actions are enough to tell how much we want something. If we just keep on saying, claiming, manifesting without any real execution and commitment towards our dream and goals, it tells us about our own character every minute. If our priority items are only in our words but we never act upon them the way we should, then deep down we don’t actually want to achieve it. Yes! It might sound an impossible fact but it is true. We keep on lying ourselves continuously of achieving this and that target but in reality, we are just clowns making our minds laugh by making it win every moment.

 

We just don’t want to control our mind and make it work on our commands. We want a life of comfort and damn, when has anyone achieved heights by chilling at the base of Mount Everest. One has to fight thousands of challenges to reach the summit when the world and universe actually acknowledges your presence. When you are at journey, no one wants to know you. I read a quote written by James Clear which said “Your actions reveal your true motivations”. How true is that!

 

Every moment wasted in partying with friends, chilling at restaurants, gossiping at office, spending money on expensive cloths/cosmetics, lying to parents comes back to haunt us. They never get disappeared in this galaxy of things in space. It knows that there’s a phenomenon called as Karma which needs to be served to the same person who emitted the negative energy with his/her behavior towards the universe. There’s a reason why we are not achieving things and only by our alertness and awareness, we can fix it. We need to be committed to ourselves first before being committed with anyone else. Your friends, family and colleagues will be proud of you only when you are a person of great conduct and discipline. Otherwise, you yourself know how you treat or see the people who aren’t disciplined and sincere about their life and success. Well, that’s all….

 

Thanks!

 

WRITING BUDDHA

When the vehicle drives you... And you just go along... That's LIFE!

2082nd BLOG POST

I remember in tough times; I always pray that why can’t everything be normal and stable. Then I remember the moments when I tell someone about my life and its important events – I always highlight the twists and turns which came unexpected in the journey and changed me completely because it broke a pattern and threw me off guard. Each time I felt that I will drown but every time I found myself above the level of water struggling and finally finding my shore to give myself a new beginning. And this new change has always brought some enthusiasm with it even though there has been nervousness and messiness in beginning. In hindsight, I have always appreciated these unexpected events which changed the path I was walking upon. I can’t even imagine how my life would have been if these events had not happened with me. I wouldn’t be wherever I have reached with the limited potentials that I have.

 

Last six months have been an amazing rollercoaster ride in terms of realization of few elements from my professional life. I made few changes initially to experience something new. Eventually, when I found something which seemed to be a perfect place, I was thrown away some place where I thought I would just end up in depression. Eventually, with little efforts in terms of understanding the work and bonding with people, I got my happiness back. The travel to office and back made another episode every day where I would read my favorite stuffs and observe people and think what they must be going through in their lives. These 5 hours of traveling every day made me understand a lot about myself.

 

Work from Home had made me quite comfort-oriented person and I felt there was nothing better than it. Now that I ended up traveling for almost 2 months for 5 hours every day to cover 140 kilometers daily, I learnt about myself that I am not someone who likes to sit at home and not meet new people. I met couple of new people in my office out of which 1-2 have become such a great bond that they are going to remain in my touch for rest of my life. Talking to people in a professional set-up in such a way that you make a brother out of them is an art I have learnt efficiently in my 8 years of working experience. I don’t aspire to become someone whom my colleagues would see only as a human machine who comes every day, does some work and leaves in the evening after generating some output. That’s my role, obviously, but only for earning enough to bring bread and butter at my home. Otherwise, the intention is always to find such people who can enhance my life to the next level.

 

Now that I had started becoming comfortable with the new ambience and environment, life came in between and reminded me that things can’t be the way even if we plan too much. It again changed my location, my set of people and whatever work I would get now. Right now, the state is of confusion, fear, disappointment and excitement. Confusion because I don’t know what’s happening as things have changed every 24 hours for me, fear because I don’t know if I would be able to take up the new challenge in the same manner as I did recently, disappointment because I won’t be spending my days with amazing colleagues who were becoming friends/brothers gradually and excitement because I am still hopeful that I might get something better than what I was provided.

 

Now that I am at this stage where the future is completely clueless, I am just loving the way life shows its properties every now and then. I am being completely aware of my emotions because these are the times when you learn about yourself the most. It tells you if you are an optimistic person or pessimistic. It tells if you look forward to things happily or crib about changes in your life. It tells a lot about the emotions and thoughts that goes within us in trying situations. Within these thoughts, there are one or two that ends up forming insights which helps us take great decisions ahead in life. Today, I am not sure what’ll happen next but I know how I am looking at this. I know what I have been through and I know what I am capable of. I know I might succeed or fail. But I know I will try. I know I will be ready to jump without worrying if I will die or survive. I am just flying as of now- not knowing where I am being led towards by the intense wind pushing me here and there. Let’s see if I will fall or fly even higher than I ever have. Life, take me wherever you want me - I am with you. 😊

 

Thanks!

 

WRITING BUDDHA

Does Life really ever challenge us?

 2074th BLOG POST

Well, the only work you have when you fall sick is to think about your past or future. I am currently suffering with cold which made me take a day-off from work yesterday. While I was not able to get out of my bed due to weakness, I was thinking of the job change that I have made recently and everything felt so scary - managing the new work, new stakeholders, new team members, new environment blah blah blah! It made me think of all the uncomfortable times I have lived in past. While thinking of all such times when I was in comfort or panic, I realized that the cycle continued in every few years or months in my life. Not only mine, but while I was also thinking about my parents’ life which I have closely observed, I could understand the challenges that even they have to go through- either financially, physically or mentally.

 

I am at an age where I have already lived half of my life. I am just going to live around the same years- or maybe even less. It makes me realize how time has passed in a flick. It makes me go through all the great and foolish decisions I have taken to reach where I am. I remember when I was in school, how traumatic it was to see the kind of pressure everyone had built around 10^th board exam. I knew that I won’t score much because I felt everything was above my IQ level. Because I had decided this initially itself, I couldn’t manage to score even what I deserved to achieve.

 

My junior college days were one of the terrible years of my life. Going through extremely tough times where I was both- mentally and physically ill due to major incidents in my life which changed me forever. It was just 4 months remaining for the board exams when I decided to give my best shot and score whatever I can even if I fail. I did everything I could- ignored mobile phone, friends, television and all sorts of entertainment. With the grace of God, I passed the exam with marks more than I had expected.

 

After passing 12^th, it seemed that I can’t do great in graduation. It felt that I would not even get admission. I ended up getting admitted in one of the popular colleges in my city. In the last year, it again seemed that the Common Entrance Test was out of my zone and I won’t be able to do post-graduation easily. Once again, I got admission in the very first round. Finally, when I took up my first job which again seemed like a herculean task to get, I got to know that the projects are being developed for India’s leading Insurance brokers. I didn’t know anything about Insurance. I thought I won’t be able to make through the probation period. I got 3 promotions in less than 5 years in that organization.

 

Similarly, when I left the organization and found another job in Work-from-home model, I had given up on the fact that I could understand the project sitting at home by just talking with someone on call. Once again, I made through and got a promotion which gave me the tag of Manager- something I had not even aspired for. Now, as I had mentioned in the very first paragraph, I have left even this job recently and joined a new one- a subsidiary of one of the biggest entities of India. I knew that the new domain will be tough to grasp which I am currently struggling with. Once again, I am out of my comfort zone. Once again, I am at a place where it seems my ship is sinking. Once again, I feel vulnerable. Once again, I feel I might disappoint myself.

 

But when the body gave up to this seasonal change and I got to lie quietly and think of all such moments in my life when I had given up but still got up to give whatever I could to not only survive but try to carve my identity in a new environment, I was able to achieve the tough target. I know I am at a job which is not satisfactory at a moment but I realize that I could make it one if I don’t think too much about failure but only success. When we put all our efforts and strive for bettering ourselves, we prove ourselves time and again that we can win anything that comes our way. I know we also lose few races in this journey but all leads to one place in the end if we are committed and true to ourselves- VICTORY.

 

No matter what, if there’s a belief that there’s a lot more potential within us which we have still not capitalized, we try to unlock our inner strength and bring it into play. Once we are in the gaming zone, we know that our job is to just keep hitting bullets without worrying about multiple of them coming towards us from multiple directions. It helps us understand that we are made for bigger things because that’s how the nature functions. The world has come from stone-age era to this present world where technology has become a key to survive. This has happened only because the human beings at every stage gave their best to fight against the status quo and achieved something better. We have to just do what billions and trillions of people have kept doing this since millions of years on this planet. That’s our default settings. There’s no new task assigned to us – at any phase in our lives. It’s as normal as breathing which we do without even thinking about it.

 

I am writing this because I want to believe in this phenomenon once again when I conquer the current challenge. I want to read this again after I am done with hiking this mountain to understand how life plays the same game repeatedly making us believe that it’s a new and difficult one this time. Let’s see 😊

 

Thanks!

 

WRITING BUDDHA

What happens when you turn-off your Mobile Notifications?

2071st BLOG POST

We often see memes these days about how we are excited about our weekends but end up spending the whole time at our home without doing anything at all. The main reason of this has been people becoming so lazy and procrastinating that even for our own fun, we feel tired to even stand up, get ready and move out of our home. Someone like me don’t even pick up the phone and call the people I love talking to. Most of us find it very convenient in just scrolling short videos one after another and finding our comfort and peace in it. Unfortunately, people have started calling such indulgent moments as Me-time. Disappointingly, this isn’t me-time at all as we aren’t giving ourselves any kind of time by busying our brain in watching small acts or monologues of someone we don’t even know.

 

I remember when the real disruption happened with Mobile in our hands when WhatsApp was launched around 2010. This was the day since we started getting crazy about the Notification feature which further got bettered when Android phones started coming into the market. But did we realize during this point of time that this is turning into a bad addiction? And the generation which were born after the mobile became a regular thing will never be able to live a simpler life due to the Notification feature?

 

Now, we install more than 100+ applications in our mobile most of which keep on sending Notifications to us even when there’s actually nothing to notify us. We are addicted so much to it that if there’s no notification for 5 minutes, we end up checking our Mobile if everything is fine. And because we start feeling ignored, we end up watching short videos or just give our reaction to someone’s short-time status/story purposely so that they’ll reply back and we will get some notification soon. How cheesy, isn’t it?

 

Since last few years, we have started getting an instant option in the Notification itself to turn it off forever. Clicking that option makes us feel that our world will fall apart and we might miss something very important. We just don’t wish to click it and we never even do that. Recently, I was going through some crazy times when I was feeling every external noise as irritation. Well, I am still going through this phase. I thought of giving a chance to this and finally turned off Notification for all the Apps. I just turned it on for important Emails and Whatsapp- where, anyway, no one talks to me anymore.

 

I must tell you that the number of things that have got balanced and nuanced in my life and routine after this is inspiring. First of all, my mobile has stopped blinking every now and then which has gradually shifted my focus away from it. Secondly, even if I pick it up to check something, there’s no useless notifications which could end up prompting me to click them and get diluted in the world of senseless and endless content. Thirdly, I have stopped getting attracted towards products or things I never wanted to purchase just because the Notification screamed about some limited deal or offer. There are no impulsive purchases anymore.

 

Now, whenever my mobile blinks or vibrates, I know that there’s actually something which needs my attention. I wanted to better this experience hence I removed all the Social Media applications from my Home screen to stop feeding my mind that the mobile is meant only for accessing them. Now, I have all the Utility, e-learning and Professional apps which are either meant to help us (Maps, Mumbai local time-table, Dictionary, Calculator, Calendar, To-Do lists, Reminders, Notes etc.) or teach us to grow personally/professionally (Udemy, Linkedin Learning, Goodreads, Kindle). Even the Music app is not on the screen. I know that I listen music only when I start my day while getting ready for office and just before sleeping to avoid overthinking on any topic. Let’s not create a pattern where we feel listening to music whenever we pick up the phone.

 

Now that I have finally created a pattern for my mind which no more needs any attention from Mobile phone, I have started seeking it from better things. I am running ahead with my book reading target. I am doing Courses online and achieving Certificates week after week. I am able to learn many skills otherwise by going through important useful videos and other online articles. I am able to meditate and exercise daily. I am able to read the whole newspaper and few pages of Bhagavad Geeta before sleeping. Please realize that all of these are happening along with a full-time job which requires 3.5 to 4 hours of traveling every day. Now, I charge my mobile once and it supports me for more than 1.5 days.

 

This has also been one of the reasons why I never purchased a Smart-watch because I know how much distracting it can be to keep getting notified not only on the phone but on your watch too. I still believe in possessing a simple watch which tells time. Similarly, I have started using mobile for what it is made for- making or receiving calls from someone during emergencies or essential co-ordinations. My friends know from more than a decade that I don’t always pick up the calls because I don’t wish getting distracted if I am already indulged in something. I always ask everyone to send me a WhatsApp message before calling so that I can let them know when we can have a good conversation. Everyone knows that I love chatting as I have communicated that in case of any urgent responses, rather than calling me, please send me a text to which I will reply as soon as I check my mobile even if I am at my workplace or between something.

 

Well, the reason for this post was not to show-off about how important I consider myself to be. It was to make everyone of you know about my experience that we lose nothing after switching off all the notifications from our phone and scheduling few Apps to send us notifications only in case of urgent events. You will start loving yourself more after finding yourself away from the clutches of this useless device called Mobile. The world was running even before it’s invention and your world can run even after this. Your phone is a Smartphone only if you use it smartly otherwise as televisions are called as Idiot-box, mobiles are nothing but Dumb-box. Yes, it is making you one. Time to wake up and start living with yourself even in idleness rather than picking it up and getting lost in it for hours. Try it!

 

Thanks..

 

WRITING BUDDHA

How Social-media Influencers are playing with our Self-Esteem!

2064th BLOG POST

The boom of unlimited internet offers from Jio and lockdown gave popularity to many Youtubers. Whenever any individual gets an instant fame or money, they tend to believe that they have won the race of life and hence, they have answer for almost everything. Sometimes, when I go through any Youtuber’s video thumbnails, I feel like laughing seeing them talk on several different topics which actually needs an expert’s comments rather than a generalist. But because they have audience right from the age of 12+ following their content, they know that fooling or in the technical terms – Influencing them is easy. They don’t even feel ashamed when couple of Users comment and let them know about the several aspects they have wrongly represented or not considered at all while speaking on the critical topic. They’ll end up creating another video calling those genuine netizens as trollers. As I said, you can declare Earth as flat if you have followers on Internet because you will always have followers believing and supporting you in almost anything you say.

 

The biggest issue that I have understood after watching significant amount of such videos and podcasts that rather than providing you any kind of motivation or inspiration, it can only make you feel incomplete, unhappy and loser. Yes! I am not saying that all videos/podcasts are useless but almost 90% of them can’t provide you practical inputs because people speaking in front of the camera are talking about every thing from their perspective. For e.g., people have shared immense amount of content related to morning routine as well as evening and night routine in few cases. What I have understood from the same is that one will have to keep 3-4 hours in morning to give it to themselves for all sorts of activities right from cleaning your system to brushing teeth to exercising, meditating, journaling, listening to classical music, planning your day, writing gratitude, enjoying sunrise in nature blah blah blah!

 

Let me break this down for you taking my own example- as I said, everyone talks from their own perspective. I have to get up at 6:30 AM for just getting through the essential activities to get ready to leave for my office around 7:45 AM to catch the most famous- Mumbai local train. After being at office for the whole day where a person can’t have Me-time as you are being paid to work for minimum 9 hours. These influencers also suggest us to take afternoon nap. How to tell them that we aren’t at a privileged position like them or those start-up founders who have liberty to have an afternoon session all for themselves. We have to rush to reach cafeteria, catch a table, warm our food in microwave after standing up in queue even there, eat fast because there are other employees watching at you to vacant the table so that they can begin their lunch too. After that, we get 5-10 minutes of time to have a short walk or gossiping session with our team members and get back to desk for completing our tasks or else, wait late in the evening until all the tasks aren’t completed.

 

By the time, we reach home – it’s already 8:30 or 9 PM and in most scenarios even later than this up to 11 PM. We freshen up, drink water/beverage, have dinner and its already time to sleep as your body has given up after such a day where your spine has been straight for almost 16 hours and more since you woke up. How am I or anyone expected to then work on their skin care routine by applying serum on face, under-eye cream for avoiding dark circles, castor oil on hair for its growth etc. Not only this, we are expected to have dinner 3 hours before sleeping and even sleep by 9-10 PM. Dude, we are reaching home between 8 to 11 PM. Are you asking us to even carry dinner with us and eat it at 7 PM before leaving office – the stale food without even having provision of warming it up? And how am I supposed to sleep by 9-10 PM when I am reaching home exactly then?

 

These influencers will never be able to respond to such queries because they haven’t lived this life and they aren’t aware about it at all. In fact, the videos should suggest what we can do while traveling by public transport. How we can read books or work on our passion if it can be executed on laptop etc. They should guide regarding working upon journaling or even meditating while traveling. Obviously, without sitting in the proper meditation posture but by just crossing our leg to give us the feel as meditation is more about focusing on our mind than how we are sitting. Hence, anyone with a corporate life can never feel happy if we keep watching such videos and feel that this is what needs our attention than realizing that we are already doing great with our life by earning bread and butter for our family and future.

 

The reason why many of us are unhealthy is because we genuinely don’t have time for ourselves. But we will always be ridiculed and laughed upon in such videos calling us procrastinators or lazy. I am seeing students influenced by them and rather than studying and researching, they are spending most of their times either in watching these impractical content-creators or journaling, meditating and following skin-care routines. Because of the Instagram and Snapchat, they feel that they need to always look beautiful, handsome and young so that their pictures always look enough cool for them to fetch views, downloads, likes and proposals. Thankfully, the social media came into the picture only after I was done achieving all that I wanted from my academic life. Even though it was there when I entered college but I always utilized it to promote my blog and book-reading culture.

 

Please beware of such content on Internet and focus upon what you can do in already planned day to create special moments in your life which can take you ahead. We have weekends and we can make most of it if we have a tough weekdays routine as I mentioned above. Don’t ever feel that you aren’t special and inspirational just because you are not able to do stuffs these guys boast of doing in their videos. We don’t even know if they are actually doing this or just selling their content by letting us feel how perfect they are. Most of the content of their videos are inspired because a sponsor wants them to talk on a specific topic – either about online courses or a cosmetic product or a mutual fund investing platform etc. Hence, they try to be master of all so that they can get all sorts of sponsors and keep on earning through brand collaborations. We even end up buying those products thinking that it will help us like it helps our online idols. I hope I have made myself clear enough and don’t need to rant anymore. Haha..

 

Thanks!

 

WRITING BUDDHA

Sharing few Perks of being a Single-Child on this Siblings Day...

2057th BLOG POST

I remember my school days whenever I would get into a brawl with any of my friends. They were such funny and casual days yet the impact that it does upon your mind are, sometimes, very impactful. Every time, if I would get beaten, it was all okay for everyone as I would get back home crying. But in case I would be the person who was able to show his dominance over the other person, they would bring their elder sibling. He/she would then bully me for having disturbed their sibling. In the end, I would be the person who was always on the losing end. The only thought that disturbed me during those days was absence of a sibling in my life. I was enough intelligent to understand that I could have never got an elder sibling but I still wished to have a sibling – even if he/she would be the younger one. Atleast there would be someone who could have stood for me. Maybe, both of us would have got beaten. Haha! But I would have someone to share my pain with.

 

Every time, I considered someone as my best friend, I would automatically start searching for a sibling in them and would get very possessive. Whenever I found this friend of mine not supporting me or even if I saw them making fun of me with others, it would break my heart like anything. But as I grew up and started observing everyone around me, I found people without siblings deeper and more meaningful than people with siblings. I may be completely wrong but this is what I derived from the conversations I had with people around me. Well, I am sharing all of this today as the world is celebrating Siblings Day and well, I didn’t get wished by anyone – OBVIOUSLY!

 

Now when I see behind and judge the perk of being a single child – I think it has shaped my personality in a completely different manner. I am able to travel alone, eat alone, watch movies alone, enjoy on weekends all by myself and never feel lonely. People often ask me how I am able to travel whole day on a weekend, eat at restaurants, watch movies all alone. It is such a default mode to me that I never face any issue. Today, I can move to any part of the world and can survive even without a single person being with me in my leisure time. Isn’t this a Superpower? Haha!

 

2^nd- I always receive complete attention from my parents. Most people always complain about their parents being partial but I never had this issue. I will not even have that in future. Kisi ke saath property ka jhagda nahi hoga. 😊

 

3^rd- There was never a comparison at home. I generally see that as academically, professionally, socially – parents end up comparing one child to the another making the person get inferiority complex for their whole life. Failure becomes the biggest fear of their life. There has never been a case like that but unfortunately, being a single child, there’s whole lot of expectations with me because I am the only one to fulfill it. This did become a challenge most of the times. But atleast, I wasn’t regularly compared to that one person for 2-3 decades.

 

4^th- I am able to accept anyone without any judgment in my life as friends or family because I have always quested for friendships/companionship so I had this early realization that if I will sit with a checklist – I would never be able to find a best friend or partner-in-crime. Hence, I have always been open in accepting people which has made many of them share such secrets with me about their life which they would share with no one else.

 

5^th- I always had/have privacy. There’s no one who would invade into my cupboard or that secret diary in my absence. My clothes would not be stolen by someone else for their farewell party. Haha!

 

6^th- I had enough time to focus on my hobbies and learnings. As all of you are aware that I love reading, writing, studying, meditating, journaling, creating Youtube videos etc., these activities require solitude and me-time. I would have never got it if I had someone sharing room with me. Having whole room and time with me, I have been able to indulge in such activities quite efficiently which actually needs silence.

 

7^th- Everything that I do is something I have picked up on my own as I didn’t have siblings influencing my choices or behaviors, allowing me to develop my own sense of self and identity.

 

8^th – I think the reason I have a good sense of humour (Well, many have told me that I do hence this statement. Warna bologe kitna self-obsessed hai 😊) is because whenever I got a chance to make friends, I didn’t want to lose the opportunity hence tried something new while interacting with them. That, I think, has developed humor, spontaneity and making excuses on the spot. Haha!

 

9^th- Well, let’s make this the last point than the same 10-pointer thing which all of us generally do. The last resort that I had to do to feel I have a sibling was to become what I didn’t get. Hence, with my younger cousins, I try playing the role of an elder brother who is protective, loving, caring and a selfless guide too. Because I don’t have a real sibling, these guys are the ones who are the closest in filling that spot. Though, I start expecting a lot from my younger ones too as I want someone to pamper me always as a brother. Haha! But anyway, I have beautiful relationships with few of them.

 

Lastly, wishing all of you a very Happy Siblings’ Day! I know that when we have one, we don’t understand it’s value. Hence, I had initially thought of writing this post in a manner where people would realize what they must have missed but then to make myself feel better, I thought of thinking towards positive points of being a single-child and changed the route of this post after 2 paragraphs. Haha!

 

Thanks!

 

WRITING BUDDHA

Do you realize you aren't HEALTHY?

2055th BLOG POST

I remember in 2019, when I got a satisfactory appraisal, I thought of starting scheduled appointment of complete body checkup for myself and my parents every half-yearly. When I did for the 1^st time, I was surprised to find high cholesterol in my reports. I went to my doctor who scolded me enough for me to take a firm decision that whatever might be – I will ensure that I get into some healthy routine. Now, because this has never been a part in my family i.e. I never saw my parents exercising, this becomes really hard to initiate. If you have someone around you doing something and making you a part of it, it becomes habit. Anyway, this report served as a big wake-up call and I didn’t need any motivation or companion to get into the regime.

 

I changed my diet plan and started with running and later when lockdown started, I worked-out at home with dumbbells and resistance band. The result showed up and my cholesterol levels had come down significantly in the normal range. It was also supported with some tablets given by doctor and other ayurvedic supplements I started with my own research. You know the art of Googling, right? Haha! I even lost 13-odd kgs and started feeling healthy and light enough to do any task that comes my way. I remember my sinus issue which troubled me for 4 years until a homeopathic treatment finally gave me relief in the start of 2021 and its occurrence has reduced significantly since then.

 

I am talking about all these experiences because we are celebrating World Health Day. Earlier, I would have just smiled cunningly after knowing about any such day but now after working upon my health in last few years, the change that it has brought to me in terms of both- physical and mental, I understand the importance of it. When we speak of health, it’s not only about doing cardio or strength training but to work from 360-degree. We need to be better in terms of physical, mental, spiritual aspect. Any one of them not in place can dismantle the other factors too. Like, I remember, in the end of 2021, I was hit with a difficult phase in life which made me mentally weak that I wasn’t able to concentrate even upon my physical health. And when both these sectors got weak, I wasn’t able to get spiritually aligned too. This is how all these three aspects work hand-in-hand.

 

Health is not only about our internal self. It magically transforms everything in our external life too. When we feel healthy from within, we start radiating the same energy whenever we meet people and talk with them. A person can sense our positivity even while talking with us on phone. Leave that – even on WhatsApp. They’ll sometimes respond back asking “Kya baat hai.. Aajkal bahut khush-khush lag rahe ho”. We can keep people around us happy and interested only if we have been able to do that with ourself. If we are someone who is weak inside, we can never help others. We will not have courage to stand up for others because our system will push us down. We will not be able to concentrate better or perform well in our career. We will find everything falling apart. But the moment we are sorted, we will be able to grasp any opportunity, take any challenge and accept the result positively irrespective of its outcome.

 

I am still in progress. The cholesterol and triglyceride levels keep on fluctuating. Vitamin D and B12 also keeps on disappointing me. I am still not regular at working on my health every day. But as and when I get time, I try to do something rather than completely ignoring it. Sometimes, I will just go on a walk. Some days, I will just do basic breathing exercises and meditation. On good days, I am able to do a rigorous cardio and running sessions. But all of the above happens 4-5 days in a week which I believe is a good progress for someone like me who did nothing until 2019. I am now conscious of the fact that I have did nothing for my health as the sun starts setting down. And it’s then that I move myself if I have not done anything in the morning. I have completely stopped eating packaged foods, cold-drinks and ordering frequently from Zomato/Swiggy.

 

4 days back, I got to know about demise of a good friend of mine who was just 32. Without any symptoms, he had a cardiac arrest and he left his wife, a year-old daughter, parents, sister and all of us behind with his memories. Now, we can definitely not control such events but we shouldn’t even keep our body prone to such events knowing that we aren’t healthy. Even after being in routine, if we are going through some physical issues – it’s fine. Our regimes them help us in faster recovery. So, it’s still beneficial to be putting some efforts. Isn’t it? I wish that everyone around me and I are always healthy and happy so that we can enjoy some great moments and share joy with each other. Please promise yourself to start today. Don’t wait for 2024 to make such resolutions. These are urgent issues which can’t be kept on hold for tomorrow. Hope you understand. 😊

 

Thanks!

 

WRITING BUDDHA

When you are ignored after a previous great experience...

2046th BLOG POST 

Have you ever observed that you watch a movie and love it as if it’s the best movie of the decade. You ask your family members or friends to watch it and while watching 2^nd time, you realize it wasn’t that good at all. Similarly, you travel to a location and feel it’s the most beautiful place of the world. When you again go back to that place either the very next weekend or even after years, you just don’t feel the same cinematic experience. You get confused if the place has changed over the period or you are a changed person now. I always thought that this happens only with movies or places but never knew that this can also happen with people. No, I understand that it happens and it’s obvious to happen in relationship which is going in the wrong direction but if everyone involved still shares the same emotions for each other, how can you still feel indifferent?

 

I had this experience when I met few people and it was a great time with them. It seemed that I didn’t receive the same kind of affection since long which I felt with them. I even wrote about that experience in my journal as a lifetime experience kind-of-a-thing. Eventually, it happened that I again met the same loved ones but I felt something was missing. Even though I tried doing everything possible to ensure that I am wrong but that feeling kept triggering and troubling me. I was surprised that why am I not being acknowledged in the same way as it happened earlier. I was feeling like an outsider even when there was surely some amount of attention and love still being given – though considerably less than the previous meet.

 

Now, there wasn’t any hard-feelings. There wasn’t even any arguments or distances that must have occurred within the same time-frame. Hence, the question still runs in my mind and I am trying to find answer for the same. God has unfortunately given us this Mind which has its job to still analyze things even if we aren’t matured for it. But whatever it is – I would still go ahead with my assumptions and say it so that you can let me know if you feel the same or I am over-thinking the matter.

 

Sometimes, you over-expose yourself. You become too available or open. You must have got an image of being someone busy or important – the layer which gets shredded off when you spend time with someone without thinking of anything because you are enjoying the bond you share. Few people take this as a respect and treat you well every other time when you meet them because they understand that you are sacrificing something from your routine or life to be with them. Inversely, for few people, it becomes a reality check if this person is actually that busy or important to be treated like one. They end up taking you granted. Too granted! Too hell of a granted! Hence, when you again make out time to meet them, you see them being busy in their own stuff, life or that damn instrument called mobile.

 

And the crazy thing is that between these two meetings, you are being treated wonderfully through calls, texts and chats which makes you plan this meeting. I think this is a new phenomenon which must be given some terminology where people make physical person sitting in front of them offline to speak with those who are online on that device and when those people on device comes physically in front, you make the one who was earlier in front of you available online on that hell-of-a-device. Basically, the person available to you in person have no importance. Until and unless, you are someone who can be shown love and attachment through the mobile, it’s a comfort game for some.

 

So, when you meet for the first time after a long gap, you tend to get attention and love. But after that, if you expect to get the same experience, you are on the way to disappoint yourself badly. I personally don’t know how it happens because it has been a culture in my home that every time there’s a guest – for an hour or even 7 days, you have to keep every non-mandatory stuffs aside which can be managed later and be completely with them. We never watch TV if we have guests at home. We don’t even let them watch their favorite programme. Haha! And that has been adopted by me so culturally as a system that even if I am meeting someone, I won’t take my mobile out of my pocket until we are about to part and have to get that selfie done. Unfortunately, it seems very few people has such kind of values left these days. I still adore people who are completely attentive with you while both of you are talking but these are rare species left now.

 

Anyway, major dilemma arises regarding what, as an individual, would you do now? Will you give a benefit of doubt and meet them for the 3^rd time and see if the 2^nd meeting was just a co-incidentally bad experience? I don’t know. Maybe, here, comes the game of ego. If you manage that well, you will certainly be there and try giving the relationship a chance. In case, you have problem with feeling avoided or insulted or ignored and you take that seriously, then, I believe the relationship will either die slowly or will continue running on low steam as a formality from both the ends until the person who ignored you realizes when things went wrong between both of you.

 

Well, I know this post is confusing as it has a question, an answer, a question for you, an answer expected from you. All – not for me – but what would you do when something similar happens with a very important relationship you share with someone. Think! Or if you have already gone through this cycle, let me know what did you do in the future. According to me, you should wait for the other person to realize what went wrong that you disappeared from their life. Well – I am done with this rant!

 

Thanks!

 

WRITING BUDDHA

Rewinding 2022... Welcoming 2023...

2044th BLOG POST

Wishing you all a very Happy New Year 2023. I know I have been late but it’s still the 1^st week, guys, I hope this shall be considered. Haha! There were too many things to wrap up and I wanted to write only when I felt physically and mentally fit after a roller-coaster ride I had in December- where I worked a lot professionally because I had a 9-days trip planned + had to read and review 8 books because I was falling short of the Yearly target of 36 Books + just after the trip, attended this amazing New Year party which broke every muscle in my body. Last 3 days have gone in fixing those tissues again. Haha! Also, attending office after traveling becomes very tiresome. Well, lot of excuses has been given and I hope I am forgiven by now.

 

2022 is finally a thing of past and I am so happy about it. Everyone who are close to me know how many times I must have told them that I am carrying a baggage since 2021 and I don’t want to take it with me in 2023. I need everything to end in 2022 itself. Thankfully, I am out of the major issue in my life which was taking toll on my mental health and have already screwed my sleeping pattern. But hopefully, the last trip that I had with my parents was meant to get out of that zone and I feel I am far better and highly motivated now.

 

It seems I have almost found my lost self again and the boy still wants to work a lot, achieve a lot, hustle a lot, earn a lot, save a lot, love a lot and well, also die soon because he doesn’t want to be in this body anymore. The soul has been realized and it is wanting to get free of this body which has its own destiny that keeps giving scar to this beautiful soul which doesn’t want anyone’s downfall or bad ever. Sorry, I went into a darker space here.

 

So, as I said, days have been tough right since 2020 for me and only I know how I have survived last 3 years. One thing that I would want life is to give only one bad year at a time and not 3 consecutive years in a package anymore. Haha! I am tough but not enough tougher. Pushing myself towards happiness – well, the right word would be Survival has been a very painful experience. For most of the people, I have been living a fake life and I don’t know what would they think of me whenever they’ll understand what I have gone through. But let it happen when it’ll happen. It shall be another experience to learn how people perceive you after knowing how much you have hidden about yourself from them.

 

Any year can’t be complete without both- Ups and Downs. It’s just that you might not have been able to enjoy every moment completely because of that one big unwanted baggage on your head but there has surely been some key events in 2022 for which the year will also be remembered more than everything else. I would like to share few of them with you in no specific order:

• Won a free Kindle device from an Instagram giveaway by entrepreneur, Karan Bajaj. Since then, reading e-books have become an integral part of my bibliophilic journey.
• Got possession of the biggest asset I have purchased till date.
• Attended 1^st Cricket match in a stadium and witnessed my idol, Virat Kohli, play live in front of me.
• Travelled by Local train after almost 27 months – I don’t think it will ever take this amount of time for me to be away from lifeline of this city.
• Attended Zakir Khan's stand-up special- Tathastu and got one thing checked off from my Bucket-List of watching him perform live. Now, the show is available for all to watch on Amazon Prime.
• Travelled twice to Delhi for an official visit but met many friends and family members – some even after 17 years. Just Imagine!
• Met all my younger cousins this year – WooHoo! A big thing for a Single-child like me.
• Surprised my sister on her birthday by being at her place 1000 kms far without telling her. Her expressions will stay with me until I live.
• Met all my immediate relatives and few – not-immediate but favorite ones too. Something I generally don’t plan and aspire for. But the experience was beautiful due to the tough phase I was going through.
• Got my Udemy course completion done on Product Management – something which was pending at my end since an year.
• Got promoted at office to Associate Product Manager – again something I didn’t plan but definitely worked in the similar direction and got the unexpected result.
• Got my father's successful knee surgery done. It is definitely a happy moment every time I see him walking kilometers without pain. God must always bless parents with good health.
• Attended KBC shoot for the 4^th time and witnessed the greatest Mr. Amitabh Bachchan perform live. It is always a life-changing experience watching him so closely.
• Travelled in Rajdhani for the 1st time while returning from one of the official trips. Train journeys are not always so luxurious. Jinko pata hai unko pata hai!
• Attended Amish Tripathi's book launch of War of Lanka. It’s a beautiful feeling to be meeting your favorite author and getting inspired for my own blogging journey.
• Met few celebrities such as Soha Ali Khan, Kunal Kemmu, Aditi Govitrikar, Manini Mishra, Bhavna Roy, Reeta RM Gupta etc.
• Attended my Dadiji's barsi (first death anniversary ritual) – again something I would have otherwise missed due to life’s extreme schedule.
• Started cycling after more than 15 years and it feels good riding a vehicle – not with the help of an engine but your physical force.
• Had the only annual family trip at Ratnagiri for a week – something I have already mentioned in the beginning of the post for seeking your forgiveness. Anyway, this has been very refreshing and you must know by now, I love beaches any day.
• Didn’t miss a single Ekadashi fasting ritual
• Had my 1st outdoor DJ party for New Year eve. I danced like a crazy maniac for 4 hours continuously just because I wanted to release myself of all the bad memories of 2022. I think purpose has mostly been served.

 

For 2023, I have definitely planned few very particularly challenging goals because life was in a stagnant phase for last 3 years. The above list might look contradictory to this statement but it all drills down to how you feel mentally- and I wasn’t much sound there. Now, I think I am – a bit stronger – a bit motivated – a bit purpose-driven. I will definitely want to keep things personal as of now and would share with you as and when I achieve these tough goals because I have to minimize the gap of whatever I have lost in these 34 months. But I am sure with your wishes and blessings, everything will happen successfully. Last year, I had written only 57 Blog Posts – the lowest in my 13+ years blogging journey but hopefully, 2023 will almost have more than double of this number. Again- your motivation will be required.

 

So, this was all I wanted to talk on the occasion of new year. I would be waiting for your emails now to know yours. 😊

 

Thanks!

 

WRITING BUDDHA

How Self-Neglect is being sold on the name of Self-Love...

2033rd BLOG POST

I remember when times changed on social media during the lockdown and people started consuming content nonstop. This led many influencers create contents around depression or self-care because all of us were going through tough times. Many of us were also self-analyzing ourselves. We were trying to change our thought process. We were nullifying few of our assumptions. I was also reading many things on Internet and following what people were actually trying to project through their Youtube videos, reels, posts and blogs. I was personally going through a very heavy phase so I was trying to find some new ways in life to get on with it and see what the inclusion of new philosophy does. As it is said- Class is permanent, Form is Temporary – I realized something on the same lines. All that I had read in the popular self-help books in the last decade turned out to be the truest and real lessons whereas whatever these people on social media were projecting was nothing but click-bait content and life-ruining advices.

 

Social media mainly talked about the logic of Self-love something that we missed when we were indulged in the fast-paced academics or corporate life which is all about completing important stuffs before the deadline. Hence, when we got little time in WFH and when someone asked us to be comfortable with ourselves and love ourselves for what we are, there was no second thinking needed. We liked hearing it so much. In our loneliness, all we wanted to hear was good thing about the only person we were spending time with – Ourselves. Initially, it did help. We stopped worrying about others because anyway, they were not to be seen anywhere around us. We started living the way we wanted. We also became convenient with our lows – such as less finances or bad body shapes etc. We started eating whatever we liked. We started spending time on couch watching series after series and being happy about not missing a single trending content people were talking about online.

 

Eventually, the world started racing again as the virus started getting weak with the help of vaccines or herd-immunity or whatever it was, we started interacting with others – getting out of the home – and realized what we have done to ourselves. We were less healthy – less enthusiastic – less skilled – less progressed – less in relationships and less in almost everything which we would have definitely been better if everything was normal. How did this whole Self-love thing work against us whereas it was meant to make us feel more peaceful, content and satisfied? It happened because we were sold Self-Neglect in the name of Self-Love. There wasn’t a single thing about loving self. It was all about neglecting ourself. Hence, we thought if we are sleeping more, we are loving ourself as we are finding peace and love in it. We were ordering food as it was the only thing ON and were thinking we are providing love to ourself by making the soul feel accomplished by feeding it the taste it was craving for. We were okay with watching OTT, Youtube and Reels as it was giving the dopamine rush all of us feel charged up with.

 

This affected us in almost every way possible – physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially, progressively etc. We forgot that the real wealth is actually being healthy- exercising more – eating right nutrition – avoiding junk food – sleeping on time – waking up on time – taking the required sunlight or supplements. We forgot that meditation, classical music, yoga will make our mind relaxed and will allow us to take difficult challenges more positively and enthusiastically. We didn’t identify that upskilling ourselves by watching courses online or getting that long pending certification will eventually help us get a better position or job which we will love doing rather than being in touch with the OTT series/movies that everyone was watching and talking about on social media. Resisting from ordering that unwanted mobile, earphone, dress, smartwatch etc. would have made us financially stronger enabling us to spend money on better objectives.

 

All of these are the self-loving elements in our life rather than getting comfortable with our failures, procrastinations, weaknesses. Over that, also hanging them on our head as a crown for the world to see & ask us about it and then retaliating to tell them how it is all okay to not be successful and driven. Self-love is all about taking your care just like you do for your loved ones but do you ever ask your parents to stop doing yoga and eat unhealthily? Do you ever ask your siblings to stop upskilling and learning and be okay with less knowledge and no competition? Do you ever ask your children to stop studying and being okay with those failed marksheets? You want them to do well with the things important at their age. Isn’t it? So how could you believe in these tactics that prescribed not being the best version of yourself is okay? How spending day on your bed if you don’t want to work is self-care? If you need rest, it’s great. But if you want rest, it’s laziness.

 

Try understanding these small differences. It will clear all your doubts. Either with a set goal or a freestyle approach, your agenda should be to create days in your life which will remain memorable for you because of that one great thing you did, you learnt, you achieved or you read. Remember all those days when you were perfectly fine but yet did nothing for your growth. How do you feel about them? Angry on yourself, right? Or just remember the time you spent today watching those short videos – someone dancing, singing, speaking, acting in it. What did it serve you? How do you feel investing time in it which gave nothing in return except few hours wasted of your precious time today? Now, remember all those days when you were sick and rested throughout the day and did nothing. Are you feeling bad about them? Not really, right? Why? Because it needed you to pause, take care of yourself in order to get back to your best life. That’s the difference between self-neglect and self-love.

 

Whatever you can change and improve about yourself, please do. Today is the only day you are living. Don’t wait for tomorrow. Plan for today. Just today. And do all the tasks. That’s how you will create a good life for yourself which will be all about loving yourself and giving yourself priority over everything else. Be with family and friends but understand the limits. Go on vacations to refuel yourself but not because some social media post is making you feel like going somewhere. Stop craving. Start resisting to such temptations. You are powerful. You need to love yourself – but in the right way. In this case, you can’t even tell anyone that you have been toxic to yourself – the word we so easily use for our family, partners and bosses. Isn’t it? Haha! Stay away from such relaxations before you start blaming yourself for everything that’s gone wrong in your life.

 

Thanks!

 

WRITING BUDDHA