Why do we need someone to feel Belonged in this world???

2025th BLOG POST

Every time I read “human beings are social animal”, I don’t know why but I just get too frustrated because this is one fact that I know is correct but I don’t want to accept and believe it. I want to create an alternate narrative that it’s not necessary to be with people and surviving with yourself with the same happiness and charm is possible. But Life makes you get closer to few people and gradually they become a habit. Their regular meetings or calls or messages or selfies become a routine and then you realize that you can’t live without their presence anymore. It definitely happens in love but apart from this, it can happen with any relationship you hold. It can be parents, siblings, best friends, colleagues, relatives, neighbors etc. You just don’t understand when a certain conversation brings you closer with a person and then rolling back to your own space becomes difficult.

 

I have been an introvert for most part of my life. I say so because there has been phases when I have been a part of a confident group which made me an interactive person for a brief time but as and when I get back to myself, I find solace in silence. Now, when I look back and realize, I see that every now and then, I always had one or more people in life who have been regularly in touch with me. It has somewhere given me the comfort of living life lonely more easily. Why? Because I know for a matter of fact that I have someone with whom I can share whatever comes into my mind. I can share even an idiotic joke with them without worrying about being judged.

 

I also observe that none of these people but became permanent in life. All came for a specific period and them got lost in this busy life somewhere. But they must surely be part of someone else’s routine now. It’s not that people don’t have time to interact but it’s just that their journey in your life was for a limited number of chapters only. Why the hell does this happen? Why can’t we have a set of people who are always with us? And even after regular such experiences, now, in my early 30s, when I find a new person becoming the one who becomes the most important person to me, knowing that they are here for a brief period of time, I keep denying myself that this time it’s going to be untrue. Unfortunately, the same cycle repeats and I again find myself waking, living and working alone. I have only myself to talk to. Every organ in the body wishes to have a person but mind wants to deny the fact. Why accepting few facts aren’t easy?

 

I then try to go back and connect the dots and find if this cycle repeats only with me or almost everyone. Well, because I don’t know much about others, I definitely get into every such person who was once the most important one for me. I try to remember how the conversations started getting weaker and finally ending on a note where there’s just occasional greetings and nothing more than that. I still can’t fathom if I have been wrong or the person on the other side was. One thing I know is that I have always been available but because I give so much in a relationship, I also expect the same from the other side. When I find that I don’t get the same love and respect, I start getting into a shell and shut myself up completely. And as soon as I disappear, it seems that the person on the other side was just waiting for this to happen to get rid of me.

 

Now, I don’t know how can the same cycle repeat every time. Why don’t I just stop expecting? Why don’t I just confront and not keep things in heart? Why don’t I just complain rather than burying all those issues within and eventually making it a reason for killing the relationship? Who’s wrong- the other person or I? How to get to the root of everything and change myself? How do I ask the other person to understand me to understand what I don’t like rather than me having to tell it verbally? I don’t know but keeping a good relationship with anyone is so tough. And after all of this, I want to just get back to myself but then why the system wants to have a friend in life in any form? WHY? Why can’t things be simple? Why can’t I sit on an endless meditation and be with myself rather than disappointing myself with having another relationship end for me? Do you have the answers? Or you have the same questions like me?

 

SILENCE….

 

WRITING BUDDHA