25 October 2009 | By: Writing Buddha

My Past- Part 1 - Must Read If You Love Me

            78TH BLOG--->>>

        Everyone here in this world loves the noun- FAME.. even I love this..When I was in my pre-primary sections I used to score 1st rank in my class..I received the prize of ALL-ROUNDER in my class..My parents were very happy then..Then after 1st std I was transferred to the school where there were many students..Actually at that time I wasnt capable of living my life without my mother..I was Maa Ka Laadla..even today the condition is the same..I cant do many things without my mumma...Im responsible now..But I need mummy..So when I was shifted to that school My performance got little weaker and the 1st rank turned into a dream for my parents which they had for their single child..I then was among top 10 rankers in my class till the class 6th..but as soon as I marched towards 7th std..My atittude and my sincerety my sweetness Everything went into vain..I became a gunda..I was known as the bad boy all over the school..You will be thinking how come whole school knew him..Because I used to do many useless acts which defamed my character..I crossed every limit and never confined myself..I just wanted to be DON..I dont know how my passion changed towards this dream..but my parents were very tensed then that what will he do in his life if he will keep doing this useless acitivites as they knew each of them because of the colony's students who were in the same school..I was a funny boy then..I used to make every1 laugh so every1 loved me..I was a defamed character but every1 all over the school were among my friends..Every1 used to enjoy with me..then in my 10th std I did most of the useless activities..I'll share all of them with you in the coming posts...I passed my 10th Board with just 61%. Expectations were above 80%. So my whole house were frustrated on me..I knew that what I have got is directly proportional to my efforts I have made in to study for my board..

         Then with the God's blessings I was admitted in Pune for 11th and 12th. I wanted to migrate to Pune after 10th but didn't wanted this particular college..Then this was the first time I experienced the Hostel Life..and being a Maa Ka Laadla, I didn't augmented my self..didn't proliferated myself but kept sabotaging myself day by day...ruined my life...owned many new diseases...many blood infections..psychological problem..and much much more...Life of a funny boy turned into a life of a Psycho..

          My papa picked me up from there and threw me in my bedroom..I went into a depression that now my life is ceased..My friends, my roommates, my way of living is changed..and the furious nature of my Papa at that time made this thing sure in my mind that he will not let me continue with my studies anymore..I kept crying in one corner..Everytime..Every minute..Every second...I never unbosomed my feelings with any1...I just kept dying into myself..and I became a Psycho..Every1 started showing sympathy towards me..all the people around me became a solidarity material..Now my aim in my life was just to Suicide..I tried it many a times....But it is said naa..Bhagwaan ka bulawa aata hai tabhi wahaan jaana hota hai...I survived...My parents broked when they saw me like this...Then we shifted to Nashik and again I was alone here..again everything started pinching me..I went more mad..I started dashing up my head to the walls...cutting my wrist with a blade...taking a compass and pointing its sharped neeedle towards my eyes and trying to see how will it look after it enters into my eyes..I dont know what was happening with me at that time..I was just suffering with a psychological problem...

       For today...I'll stop this Appal story here and will continue with this tomorrow....as Im sick and my back bone is paining..but would like all of you to read this deadly part of my life...I'll go in detail the next time I write next part of this story..Today I wrote in short coz I thought that blog will be short but then too it crossed its limit which i have put in..So better then talking in short..I'll tell you the whole thing clearly and evidently..

     Thanks for reading this very post....
 With all the love- Your lovingly Abhilash

1 CoMMenTs !!! - U CaN aLSo CoMMenT !!!:

W!LSH!RE said...

I understand... Everyone feels down some day or the other. But it is upto us to get out of it. In such situations it is upto us. External factor have little effect. I do agree that others support and guidance and other factor do help us. But eventually it is totally upto us to do something.
You are not alone. There are others too. I will not deny that I too was in a similar situation. But now I've learnt the ropes of life. The sole most way to get out of it is to be positive. You may find it not effective at first. But all you have to do is finish up your duties, be it studies, work or responsibilities, and then find out time enjoy yourself. You may be alone or with friends. But what counts is that the negative thoughts are out of your mind. Effective ways are yoga, meditation and even saying positive things to yourself are equally effective!
I'm really sorry I can't post my whole comment today because my elder brother is telling me to get off the internet.

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