10 January 2023 | By: Writing Buddha

When you are ignored after a previous great experience...

2046th BLOG POST 

Have you ever observed that you watch a movie and love it as if it’s the best movie of the decade. You ask your family members or friends to watch it and while watching 2nd time, you realize it wasn’t that good at all. Similarly, you travel to a location and feel it’s the most beautiful place of the world. When you again go back to that place either the very next weekend or even after years, you just don’t feel the same cinematic experience. You get confused if the place has changed over the period or you are a changed person now. I always thought that this happens only with movies or places but never knew that this can also happen with people. No, I understand that it happens and it’s obvious to happen in relationship which is going in the wrong direction but if everyone involved still shares the same emotions for each other, how can you still feel indifferent?


I had this experience when I met few people and it was a great time with them. It seemed that I didn’t receive the same kind of affection since long which I felt with them. I even wrote about that experience in my journal as a lifetime experience kind-of-a-thing. Eventually, it happened that I again met the same loved ones but I felt something was missing. Even though I tried doing everything possible to ensure that I am wrong but that feeling kept triggering and troubling me. I was surprised that why am I not being acknowledged in the same way as it happened earlier. I was feeling like an outsider even when there was surely some amount of attention and love still being given – though considerably less than the previous meet.


Now, there wasn’t any hard-feelings. There wasn’t even any arguments or distances that must have occurred within the same time-frame. Hence, the question still runs in my mind and I am trying to find answer for the same. God has unfortunately given us this Mind which has its job to still analyze things even if we aren’t matured for it. But whatever it is – I would still go ahead with my assumptions and say it so that you can let me know if you feel the same or I am over-thinking the matter.


Sometimes, you over-expose yourself. You become too available or open. You must have got an image of being someone busy or important – the layer which gets shredded off when you spend time with someone without thinking of anything because you are enjoying the bond you share. Few people take this as a respect and treat you well every other time when you meet them because they understand that you are sacrificing something from your routine or life to be with them. Inversely, for few people, it becomes a reality check if this person is actually that busy or important to be treated like one. They end up taking you granted. Too granted! Too hell of a granted! Hence, when you again make out time to meet them, you see them being busy in their own stuff, life or that damn instrument called mobile.


And the crazy thing is that between these two meetings, you are being treated wonderfully through calls, texts and chats which makes you plan this meeting. I think this is a new phenomenon which must be given some terminology where people make physical person sitting in front of them offline to speak with those who are online on that device and when those people on device comes physically in front, you make the one who was earlier in front of you available online on that hell-of-a-device. Basically, the person available to you in person have no importance. Until and unless, you are someone who can be shown love and attachment through the mobile, it’s a comfort game for some.


So, when you meet for the first time after a long gap, you tend to get attention and love. But after that, if you expect to get the same experience, you are on the way to disappoint yourself badly. I personally don’t know how it happens because it has been a culture in my home that every time there’s a guest – for an hour or even 7 days, you have to keep every non-mandatory stuffs aside which can be managed later and be completely with them. We never watch TV if we have guests at home. We don’t even let them watch their favorite programme. Haha! And that has been adopted by me so culturally as a system that even if I am meeting someone, I won’t take my mobile out of my pocket until we are about to part and have to get that selfie done. Unfortunately, it seems very few people has such kind of values left these days. I still adore people who are completely attentive with you while both of you are talking but these are rare species left now.


Anyway, major dilemma arises regarding what, as an individual, would you do now? Will you give a benefit of doubt and meet them for the 3rd time and see if the 2nd meeting was just a co-incidentally bad experience? I don’t know. Maybe, here, comes the game of ego. If you manage that well, you will certainly be there and try giving the relationship a chance. In case, you have problem with feeling avoided or insulted or ignored and you take that seriously, then, I believe the relationship will either die slowly or will continue running on low steam as a formality from both the ends until the person who ignored you realizes when things went wrong between both of you.


Well, I know this post is confusing as it has a question, an answer, a question for you, an answer expected from you. All – not for me – but what would you do when something similar happens with a very important relationship you share with someone. Think! Or if you have already gone through this cycle, let me know what did you do in the future. According to me, you should wait for the other person to realize what went wrong that you disappeared from their life. Well – I am done with this rant!





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