3 Years of Lockdown.. My Bad & Good Moments in Flashback!

2051st BLOG POST

There is one tough phase which will always remain common to all of us began 3 years back when the Prime Minister of the country announced lockdown in order to stop the spread of Coronavirus on the same day. Though it didn’t work out as the virus was stronger than us and eventually resulted in loss of many precious lives that none of us could have ever imagined. I remember that I had saved all my leaves for that financial year to travel to Ratnagiri in the March end of 2020. The trip, obviously, got cancelled but even my leaves turned into a non-paid ones and I received only 2/3^rd part of my salary. Something which I didn’t like and it became the root cause of leaving the organization 2 months later where I had spent almost 5 years of my initial professional career.

 

Lockdown began as a great moment for me as I am quite a homely person so I got time to stay at home and spend time in reading books, spending time with my parents and helping my mother in household chores. Later, when I got access for WFH, life got little terrible but I continued my weight-loss activities at home and within a quarter- went from 78 kgs to 65 kgs i.e. Lost 13 kgs in the process. As soon as I started feeling healthy, the obvious happened – I got infected with virus quite severely which led me into getting unconscious while brushing my teeth one morning and then I found myself directly in the ICU of the isolation ward and stayed there for 8-10 days. It almost felt that I would not return back due to short-breathiness but God has been kind to my parents and all of you and I returned back. Ok Sorry! Even my father was admitted and got discharged before me. God bless him!

 

Just before this period, in the month of May when I resigned from my organization without having another job in hand, I think my father took it far more seriously and he suffered a minor heart-attack and got admitted for 7 days. It was quite tough traveling to hospital and staying there all day in midst of covid spreading in its full power. Somehow, all the medical issues were resolved in first 6 months and I got a new job which was going great and then our family got punched by another issue which took us around two years to fight and come out of it. It has been the 2^nd toughest period of my life which led me towards extreme stress, fear and at times, depression of highest level. I turned insomniac and I am still fighting with it. I tried everything- anxiety doses, melatonin, sleeping pills, listening music, meditating but nothing gave me a good sleep. Somehow, now, I have started getting a better sleep but some nights are still tough.

 

This was the 1^st time when I questioned my country regarding how safe it is for someone who is innocent but have to go through a useless process of proving it. Anyway, this is one experience which has taught me a lot about myself, my family and close family friends. In the toughest period, when you see only darkness ahead, it’s your family that stays by you and actually fight along with you. Others can only give you sympathy or motivate you to fight for yourself but family will take the bullets themselves on behalf of you. In our teenage and 20s, we feel that family is the only reason why we are so restricted in life but eventually only in our tough times we understand that even your best friends are just a tag but you will need your parents, siblings and very close relatives around you to finally get out of a bad phase. Some friends are still special and do more than relatives but these are rare cases and I had a couple of people who stood like family during this period.

 

Amidst all this, to refresh myself, I went on for a 3000-kms road trip to Jhansi, Gwalior, Khajuraho, Orccha, Datia, Indore etc. which made me understand a bit of history and great fighters who fought against big powers to save our nation, temples, monuments and what not. I stayed for 1.5 months at Jhansi – a city very different from Mumbai but it felt homely with the love of my inspirational chachiji, my siblings (with whom I bonded so strongly that even when I think about them now, I get emotional and find tears in my eyes) and their extended family as well. These 1.5 months at Jhansi have become such a reference point in my life that talking about any topic, I end up mentioning it because of it’s impact in my life. Then my sister came to stay with us in Mumbai for 2 months which was another beautiful phase as both of us cooked together, watched movies, traveled a bit, talked a lot, hugged a lot and shared many beautiful moments which will stay as one of the most pleasant experiences. May God bless her always!

 

It has been 3 years now and I am still working from home. This has made me spend so much time with myself and meet very less people that it helped me understand what I need from life and what not. It has given me the clarity which is helping me take tough decisions even today. Even I am surprised how I am able to take the routes which aren’t so friendly but I realize it’s essentiality for me to move ahead for my progress and betterment. I have understood how to use money and now I have stopped spending a lot on upgrading my mobile phones, eating outside, watching movies in theaters and other useless stuffs we buy just to impress others. I am comfortable with myself now. I know where I lack and I love spending time on getting those loopholes filled as soon as possible. I have become a lot patient which helps me to be okay if I don’t get instant results.

 

I now spend more time with myself, my family, extended family and finally, with my friends. Because this is the order in which people stay with you in your tough times. I have stopped chasing people who don’t contact me. I have reduced expectations from a lot of people. I am still working upon the same with few as I am very emotionally attached with them which hurts me because eventually being a human being, I end up hoping love in return – which is obviously not shown or given in return in the amount I aspire to receive. You know, human beings and their expectations, right? Haha! One another good thing to have happened during lockdown is the telecast of Ramayan which helped me get into my religious texts, learn a lot about Lord Ram, get admired and inspired by him and I regularly try to be as righteous as possible in all my conducts. Now, I feel ashamed of lot of acts I have done in my past. But it is said -Jab Jaago Tab Sawera so giving myself this benefit of doubt – I am trying to lead life following my Sanatan Dharm as much as possible.

 

Well, I just felt sharing my emotions on completion of 3 years of lockdown which took me in flashback and made me remember all- bad and good times. Bad before Good because they were more in quantity than good. Alas! I thank God that I didn’t lose any of my favorite and close people during this tough period and I have everyone with me even after the pandemic. What more should one ask for in life? Isn’t it? It has atleast made me and obviously, you, realize that nothing comes before our family because only when we realize that we might lose them, we understand their importance in our life which we don’t generally think due to extremely busy schedules. Well, I feel like writing more but it’s already 1300 words so let’s stop here. Haha!

 

Thanks!

 

WRITING BUDDHA