25 November 2009 | By: Writing Buddha

Grandpa - I'm Missing You !!!

           102TH BLOG -->>

        Right from Monday when my exams got over , I feel very tired but not sleepy..I dont know why??.. Whenever I feel like I should sleep..I think about the huge celebrities like Big B and Sanju Baba who sleep only for 3 or 4 hours...I think when they have all the luxuries and money more than what they need and they dont sleep and keep struggling and aiming more..Why should I stop here and not work more...Why should I jeopardise my achievements....After many goodies there are two more for me...The site of Ambani's BIGADDA has vindicated me in their list of 5 names of STAR BLOGGERS...I'm very happy that their editors sent me this notice in my account..I'm very happy that even these big and highly-qualified brains are feeling my writings Sensible..There are in all 37,165 blogs on the site BIGADDA and questing the position in top 5 and being named as STAR BLOGGER on the home page of BIGADDA BLOGS has really mooted me very high both in confidence and stardom..Hahaha...This is the same site where Amitabh Bachchan write his blogs..And the second goodie News is NME MAGAZINE considered my video of receiving the title of Mr.Fresher in their award's video section of their official site..I'm very happy to have my presence @ this huge sites...Its like marking my success in the IT field -Internet..I have a dream of writing my words and thoughts @ the EDITORIAL SECTION of any newspaper..Hope this target will be achieved..As I have achieved all this without really aiming on them...HOPE HOPE HOPE !!!

             Yesterday night I slept for just 3 little sweet hours...But this Hours gave me immaculate and speckless, charming feel...I saw my grandpa in the DREAM who is no more with me...He left his Mother Earth last year .. @ Dream, He called me " Veeru Beta , Veeru Beta.." I replied " Yes Babaji, What Happened? " " I have heard that you have completed writing your 100th blog, if yes then recite it " I then bought my laptop and started reading the whole .. after this I dont remember anything accept his smiling face...Right now this tears in my eyes is really compelling me to stop writing and continue it tomorrow morning but I want to talk about my Grandpa. Till the last moment I saw him @ his resident..He always had a novel in his hand..He just kept on reading them and sharing it with every one who wanted to chat with him..I just loved his love for reading..All of us his grandchildren used to play and roam but he was always engaged in reading..His command on the Hindi and English languages were so powerful and excellent that anyone debating with him was inpregnable and inexpugnable..He loved me the most among all his grandchildren..When I was a small kid of Primary section, He wrote me the first letter and then our conversation kept on till he was healthy..I loved to open the seal of the letter which he used to write...He once stated a sentence in his letter 
My Child You Are Really A Dream Come True For Me..
Today when I remember his wordings , I really feel like how unlucky I am to not have him with me..Right now..I'm writing this post with a rolling tears on my cheeks...Im wiping it incessantly..and His Photo Frame in my room is making me cry more...As it seems like he is talking to me.. 

                 He always had a pile and heap of beautiful expectations with me..He used to say that The whole world will know my grandson- Abhilash Ruhela but in his last days He took his last breathe with the comtemporary news of that period that his grandson is a failure..Repeating 11th..and is unhealthy and he is in depression and always trying to suicide and slew himself.. Today I really accuse myself of not fulfilling my grandpa's expectation and dream till the time he was alive and was with me...Everyday after posting my blog..When I read it as a reader..I always remember my grandpa that what would have he said after reading this..after reading that..How happy he would be to read my blogs daily..He would have felt proud of the 64 comments on my 100th blog..He would have been proud of seeing me out of depression..He would have been proud of hearing the result that I scored 1st (Now Im 2nd) all over Mumbai in the entrance exam of BVP University..He would have been proud to hear that I won Mr.Fresher.. He would have been proud of the two achievements I have mentioned above..Now I really feel guilty..Why I was not living so passionately When He was Alive..Why I gave him this pain that His grandson broke all his expectations and desire...Dadaji..I Love YOU...You were so sweet..so kind...so lovely...How can I get you back?? .. Will you come tonight to wipe my tears...?? .. Will you come tonight to say again that I know you will be a big person..?? .. Will you come tonight to say that Im having the best personality among all my cousins and friends?? ..Will you come tonight to say that Beta ..the world will know you??.. Will you come tonight to scold me why I delay writing letters to you...?? 

                I know the answer is NO but I still hope that after I'll sleep ..You will surely come and love me...and I know you come daily..Because I cannot be successful and happy without your blessings...Dadaji...The last time when I saw you in hospital when you were unable to utter a single word...you were just taking the glance of my face and wasn't even capable of smiling..I said you that Dadaji..Aap jaa rahe hai naa..jaayiye..main bhi aa raha hu aapke peechey peechey..Mujhe bhi zindagi se koi matlab nahi hai..Bahut hi jald milunga aapse.. I dont know what you felt at that time but right now Im crying a lot bcoz Im feeling guilty that I didn't came..I didn't suicide..Just forgive me...And I promise you that I'll put all the efforts to fulfill your dreams you had with me..and I'll come to your place in heaven with the tag that whole of the nation knows me and then will say you ..Dadaji Ye hai aapka Favourite Grandson...Main Aaunga...Chahe Jaldi Chahe Der..Apka naam roshan kar ke hi aaunga...


Friends - Please respect your Grand-Parents !!!


1 CoMMenTs !!! - U CaN aLSo CoMMenT !!!:

W!LSH!RE said...

I am speechless... I really don't know what to say. I'm sure your grandfather is proud of you Veeru.

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