2 August 2020 | By: Writing Buddha

Can I call someone a FRIEND today just because they have been my FRIEND yesterday?

1859th BLOG POST

Well, this Friendship Day is all about revelations and realizations. Since so many years, we live within circles – circles of friends – acquaintances – people who claim to be our well-wishers etc. We have so many groups that in few people’s social media updates, I find 5-6 cakes being cut separately where each group has celebrated the birthday and made them feel special. But if purchasing or cutting cake for someone’s birthday would have proved the mettle of someone being your friend, this world would have been full of love which is not so. We are being ditched time and again. Trusting people have become so difficult that you shall never be able to understand with whom you can share everything that is there in your heart and still not be judged. There are rarely any such Friends left in our life. If they are, we can still say that we are lucky. But can you still trust them for your future if they shall remain to be the same forever? Somewhere there is always doubt. This has what Friendship has got reduced to.

I started the post saying “This” Friendship Day because during the lockdown, I have found many of my friends accepting the reality about the people they trusted a lot– sometimes more than their parents – and sometimes more than themselves. Now when they sat at home and thought about their relationships with certain people, they realized that it has always been so formal but coated with fake love and belongingness whereas there is nothing that they miss about them when they are alone in lockdown and actually looking for some company. We never got time to evaluate these friendships in regular days because we were always busy in work, traveling, people and as I said above – multiple friend circles. But now when we realize who are really our friends whom we can go to- oh shit – they are so rare – almost negligible. And if they are there, they are still judgmental at some level. Where to go to and pour our heart out- isn’t it?

I am just quite heartbroken with the way life has moved and come to a stage where I have so less friends with whom I can share everything and expect them to say – “No worries, my friends, mistakes happen and you are no God to not make one”. As soon as I tell someone about my activities which doesn’t set in the moralistic set of society, my friends give me such an expression that I feel like sulking back and getting lost in a world where no one can meet me again ever. Even when I try sharing something with someone- either its about my feelings or my feelings about them or a decision I am going to take, I find some other mutual friend talking to me about the same. This shocks me so much that there is always some kind of One-to-One connection too which should be respected. Yes, we are always friends in group, but because You and I are friends is also because You and I have certain level of Friendship between ourselves before our friendship in the group that we belong in. Respect That!

Who likes breaking friendship or downgrading the status of the same? I never like doing this. There was a time I lived for my friends. I always had my phone besides me while sleeping so that in case any of my friend messages or calls me, I am there to take it up even at late night. I used to literally reply during early morning hours in case someone used to text me. My friends used to be surprised about if I even sleep or not. But I stopped doing this. Now my phone is silent when I sleep or work. I do not like being available for anyone every time. Yes, if I am available, I will do every bit I can for you. But I do not make extra efforts to be available to anyone at any point of time. I have lost the trust. I have lost what I believed to be Friendship which is all about sharing secrets or feelings and expecting things to remain between me and the person.

I want Friendship to remain the best relationship of all always and forever. But the level of our humanitarian ground has stooped so low that it has affected this beautiful word heavily as well. I remember when earlier people used to introduce anyone they knew as their “Friend”. Now, there are apprehensions. At least with me it has been so. Now I introduce anyone as per their status in my life- my college-mate, colleague, neighbour, lives in my society and so on. I never introduce anyone as my friend until and unless my heart doesn’t say that the person has the distinction in my life where I trust him/her to support me in my vulnerable state.

When you are all okay, everyone can call you as their friend. They will even make extra efforts to be with you. But the moment you become vulnerable- mostly in case of mental health issues – these friends start making fun of you. Yes, you do mistake when you are in a state of mind which is not your best- but isn’t that the time when you need your friends the most? What when they leave you or make fun of you or share about your vulnerability to everyone in the circle? How sick you start feeling – isn’t it? I have suffered this even now when I have crossed 30 years of age – just imagine what teenagers or people with weak heart might go through or – are going through.

On this Friendship Day, I would like to say that please respect this relationship called “Friendship” otherwise it shall become very hard to survive. Already people have started disbelieving in siblings, spouses, colleagues, neighbours etc. People still have certain expectations from people they believe to be in this relationship called “Friendship”. Let us keep its sanctity alive. My best wishes to everyone who needs a best or good friend to go through this heavily stressful life.

Happy Friendship Day to everyone.



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