2 January 2020 | By: Writing Buddha

I am just a Nameless Emotion..

1816th BLOG POST -->>

The happiness and sadness are a periodic cycle which comes and goes as per it’s will. If you and I can change it, then there’s no fun in living. It is only when things strike you at unexpected hours do you realize the kind of change it has done to you. The most that I saw myself changing was a decade back and I don’t think I have ever seen such low ever in life after that. Even before that during childhood there has been many humiliating incidents but I never broke then. I always felt that life is easy but it is only when I was 17 years old when I couldn’t register when I went so deep while diving into this thing called life that I couldn’t handle it and wasted my years coming out of its depression.

That is why I relate with the movie Kabir Singh so much. The madness and aggression that the character of Kabir has is always there within all of us but we can’t live the way he started living by throwing things away just like that. We have a society around us about which we keep thinking and can’t express our pain and frustration the way Kabir does. That is why after that incident I became an emotion myself. Yes! I know saying this is odd but I became a person defining and understanding whom has become difficult. I know I am sounding poetic but I will say it today without any shame. I am what you can only think but can’t hold and say this is it.

Every person who considers me close to them will agree that after meeting me, they just couldn’t think of ever getting separated from me because they get a person who talks about himself the way no one does and also understand the person sitting in front of him the way no one ever understood them. This empathetic value in me is because of the number of books I read. There are so many characters I have met through the books that no other person in real life has been able to shock me with his/her behaviour. I have seen all these people in the books I am always peeping into. Hence, the mind and soul in me which talks with anyone does it the way the character is being treated in the book and is able to leave an impact that the person believes that the person he/she just met is not a person but an emotion he/she would keep wanting to experience.

I have analysed myself a lot from 3rd person’s point of view and I can only say that whatsoever I do, I ensure that there are no regrets ever of not attempting something. I might succeed. I might fail. I might end up hanging in between of success and failure but I end up putting myself into the shoes and walking the future which I keep analysing in my mind all the time. And once the future becomes present and then past, I know, it was all the illusion the mind had created and nothing is ever permanent. Everything is just passing by. If someone has gone today from this planet, what are you crying for. One day even you are going to go. Are you here to stay forever? No, right? That’s when I realized if I ever leave, how would I be remembered?

I believe I shall be remembered more as an emotion- an emotion which is not happiness, ecstasy, sorrow, joyfulness, anger etc. but something which is distinct in itself. People would want to hate me but they won’t be able to because of that genuity and gentleness that I carried with myself even when I did things wrong. I may have troubled people but I have also given them the moment of their life. I may have hidden things with people but I have also shared something with each closest person that I have shared with no one else. There are times when people have broken me but I never complained about them but considered it destiny and walked with smile on my face. When I abuse twice in each sentence, the person knows these are just words and, in the heart, I am only expecting good to happen with everyone including myself. 

It’s New Year and I hope that with each year the Emotion that I am keep on becoming stronger that whenever someone experiences it, they shall remember me only with some kind of awkwardness that they are all bare in front of me and nothing is hidden. Similarly, they could also experience me bare but still, they won’t be able to understand what this emotion actually meant. I am that character of your favorite book who keeps everyone happy but no one ever understands if he is himself happy or not. A reader just lives that character during the journey of reading and after that for whole life, always remembers that character in terms of emotions and not as a person. Yes, I am that character only. Oh Sorry, Emotion!



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