My Meditative Musings 1

1966th BLOG POST

What is it that makes us right? Or wrong? Or somewhere in between? Isn’t it all about perceptions? I go into flashbacks often and see my life in a linear phase where I did certain activities – some of them I am very proud of whereas some of them I am completely ashamed of. But when it was happening – when I was in the process, everything seemed and sounded to me like an ideal execution from my end. I didn’t find anyone right except myself. I was the God of my own World. Then I suddenly get shifted to the present. I see myself. I see my activities. I see my actions. I see my thoughts. And I try becoming the 3^rd person for myself. And then I get scared to find that certain decisions I am taking seems to be very self-obsessed or one-dimensional. I see the short-term happiness I am acquiring from them. I see the absence of long-term vision in them.

 

All I find myself doing is calculations. Calculations of what could go right and what could go wrong. Calculations about the upward or downward trend of my progress starting from my present to my future. I then find several goals I am trying to balance and nothing of which is making me happy. I see my health and compare it with what I was – and then I realize the improvement is almost negligible. This makes me lose confidence in it. I also see financial capabilities that I have and what I may achieve after a certain point of time. I then go into the flashback and see how much savings or investment I have achieved till now. I see that whatever was done has gone or about to go. Then I think about what will happen to my financial goals if some uncertainty arises later which can take me back to zero.

 

I check the relationships I have. I see that these are far too less than what I had. Then I reminisce about how I used to die for my friends – even fight with my parents for them but where are they? When did they get lost? When did they go so far that we haven’t contacted in years? How did this happen? And then I see the people I am currently comfortable with – I might go to any level for them. But then I think will they be part of my future too. What if I lose everyone I have today and end up being lonely – the way I once ended up being. How many times will I have to checkmate myself and make it conscious of the risks associated with everything I have done, doing and will do.

 

Life will remain to be a question. A question where you’ll keep doubting yourself – a question where you’ll keep judging yourself – a question which will always scare you – a question which will always question you. How much do you survive against it is then called the experience of living life. The whole life will always be about survival against yourself- your emotions – your gestures – your actions – your decisions and their outcome – which is in whose hand will never be known. But these questions that keep interfering you in your journey is a traffic where you have to watch the signals – accept the blockage – and move whenever you are allowed to move – where it will take you will always be the mystery – but this mystery is worth living for.

 

P.S.: I have written this just as the thoughts kept coming to me. Writing this has been a meditative experience and I hope I keep sharing these personal musings quite often than not posting anything at all except reviews.

 

Thanks.

 

WRITING BUDDHA

AGAINST ALL ODDS: THE LIFE OF KISHORE V. SONPAL by Hetal Sonpal (Book Review: 4.5*/5) !!!

1965th BLOG POST

31^st Book of 2021

 

Reading autobiographies/biographies is always the Go-to thing for me whenever I have to return back to reading after a long gap. This time again I have been away from reading for quite some week and I was looking for some unusual biographical account and I got to know about Rupa Publication’s new release named “Against All Odds” written by Hetal Sonpal. This book is written by the author where he describes his father- Kishore V. Sonpal’s life in detail. This memoir account is shared with us in just 130-around pages which I felt is the best part about this book as it has not been stretched at all. This is one of the rare biographies where the incidents and events are mentioned very crisply without adding any extended effect to it. Everything is portrayed on ground levels without exaggerating anything.

 

I have always thought of how it would be to read memoir of someone who’s not a celebrity or very popular personality and this has been almost the 1^st attempt when I have read something from the same zone. Not even once you’ll feel bored or alienated while reading about a person you have never heard about before. The book becomes more special as a son has written his father’s life with immense love, courage, ode, and tribute. You can feel the emotions running in Hetal’s heart and mind in every word and sentence he has used in few scenes where you get to understand the bravery and values of his father.

 

The book starts with an incident that happens with the earlier generation of Kishore which makes them dive not only in poverty but immense debt too. When he’s born, his family is already struggling for survival which made him understand the value of money very early on. Later, in the first 10 pages of the book itself, author makes us realize how Kishore decided to never live on loans and debts which our generation has become so used to. There is also an incident later in the book where the protagonist makes his teenager children manage budget of the house so that they learn early on about how money is earned, spent, and saved. I have heard/read something like this for the 1^st time and I would love to copy this in my family whenever I come to that stage.

 

The best thing that I learn from Kishore Sonpal’s life is the value of integrity. How he never wished anyone’s bad but always wanted to live simply in minimalistic lifestyle and assure that everything he does is right, and nothing goes against the values and principles he has followed since his early ages. His respect for Swami Vivekananda, Vinoba Bhave, Mahatma Gandhi is nicely represented in the book, and you get to learn so much about how right role models can shape your own life towards good.

 

There are instances discussed where he didn’t fake medical bills to gain benefit; in fact, asked the company to allow him to submit the bills of the healthy products he purchases to ensure he remains fit. Similarly, he never tried to earn anything in between when he worked in public as well as private sector makes us understand that money is not everything. Even after coming from financially unstable background, the way Kishore kept taking challenges and risks to try something new every time he tried shifting from one type of work to another is inspiring and power packed.

 

The way he supported his wife in the way she wanted to develop her children in the best school of the town despite less budget talks about his calibre towards personal life and relationship. Similarly, in the latter part of their marriage, how he helped his wife in taking up entrepreneurial challenge displays his open mindset towards women in that era. Author also mentions that he was known for remembering everyone’s name, birthdays and all the important days associated with the person he was close or worked with. Mentioning such qualities in this book has been an impact that was needed to make people realize the importance of less-talked soft-skills.

 

I am glad that author added the family tree in the book but I wish if it could have been in the start so that I didn’t have to maintain the same while reading the book by myself. Hetal has added few of the work written or maintained by his father in the end which is such a beautiful ending to the book as it is mostly about spirituality, life, values, lessons etc. I really liked every word written in this segment. I believe author can publish a separate book altogether where everything written by Kishore Sonpal can be complied together – it would be a gem for sure. Overall, I won’t say any drawback per se because the intention and execution of this book makes you understand how you can leave behind your legacy even if you are known in a very small set of people. I give this attempt 4.5 stars out of 5. You can easily read this book in a single sitting.

PURCHASE THE BOOK HERE

 

Thanks.

 

WRITING BUDDHA 

मैने बिग बॉस देखना क्यों बंद किया | Why did I stop watching Bigg Boss | In Hindi (Video)

1964th BLOG POST

I have always believed that the content you consume is what you become eventually. Even if you don't become, your thought process changes accordingly. And this is why I always find Bigg Boss very problematic. So I am not saying this without knowing what it is but because I have left it after watching almost 6 seasons of it. I found many changes happening with my personality because of it and as soon as I put a hard stop on it, I could experience my thoughts and personality getting better.

I wanted to record or say this since last two years but I have finally gathered my thoughts together and recorded this video. 

Please do watch it and if you agree with the points I have discussed, please do share it with everyone who believes Bigg Boss is teaching them how to live life. 

Thanks!

WRITING BUDDHA