Love kills us or do we kill love?

1741st BLOG POST -->>

Today’s the day of Valentine's when most of us celebrate relationships. There’s always lot of jokes going around about the pros and cons of being single or committed but as it said, how much you enjoy your singlehood, you want to end up getting committed once with the person you find yourself getting compatible with without thinking about what the future of this relationship would be. In the beginning of every relationship, it is felt as if this is going to be an endless odyssey which both of us shall walk together until one of us shall leave our mortal body but the realization dawns after few weeks when the affair of love gets little old.

No one wants to initially think about the limitations a love relationship comes with. Everyone believes and wants to believe that this is an endless saga that shall stay with us in every moment when we feel weaker at times. It is only when one realizes that most of the weakest moments of life are those which are caused because of this relationship itself, isn’t it? Loving someone is inevitable. You do not have control over it. Expressing your love is one hell of a task which not many can do. But these days because both the genders are associated since childhood very closely, love happens and it is expressed after an incidental kiss or physical intimacy already takes place. Holding each other’s hand itself clarifies both the person that something has been brewing in our hearts and it is only after some time that the final claim of love takes place until then it is all unsaid and adventurous.

A relationship takes away a lot of energy from you. A relationship needs a lot of involvement. Though everyone of us feel like it should keep walking in background along with our daily chores but it does not. It stops the moment you stop giving it the demanding attention. You have to slog very hard in a relationship. But the coolest part is that this slogging looks beautiful. No one complains about this until some day it all comes down to your ego, space, trust issues, time issues, commitment issues, loyalty issues, self-respect and personal life. It is only when you start losing the already set world of yours because of this new addition in your life do you start feeling the burden of this relationship or this relationship as a burden.

Love is beautiful and magic for sure. But remember, this love is never in the person you love, but within you. With time, we start considering love to be the person we are romantically involved in. We should be consciously aware of it in every moment that this love resides within us. That person has just been the trigger for it to be expressed and displayed. Otherwise, you are full of love already and you actually do not need anyone to feel you are in love. But then, God has created the two genders for some reason, right? So let’s not take away that from the creator. What I mean to say by saying that do not consider love to be in the person you are with is to ensure that your sanctity and your consciousness for yourself stays as it is irrespective of howsoever supportive and amicable your partner is.

The whole goof-up begins when you start expecting and dominating. You are then treated like a dog. Your self-respect is then tarnished every now and then. You become a slave of someone’s ego. You have to bear the mood swings of another person and think if you have done something wrong which made them react so unevenly. This is all very gross. The relationship if is named “Love”, then it should always display love. If a person makes mistake, it should be acceptable by them within minutes after committing. Judging your partner’s patience in relationship will only kill the feeling slowly. If that is what you are waiting for, continue disrespecting the relationship by keeping yourself and your mood above the person and relationship. But if anyway this matters to you then remember, the person with you is expecting love every moment. Even when there’s disagreement, arguments, unwanted discussions, just after the end of it, love is still expected immediately. If it does not come along with all of these, then the relationship is killing both the people or say, both the people are killing the relationship.

This Valentine’s Day, promise yourself that love is meant to be dived into without thinking about yourself, your breathe, your body, your existence. In that moment of diving, you only want to dive and swim and experience the new life. Always remember the moment when you were diving into this. Now that you have experienced and realized that there’s equal amount of challenges in the relationships as the excitement and fun, don’t forget the initial feeling you had. But if the relationship is not adding value to your life and is only giving you stress, then remember, it’s better staying single on such Valentine’s Day because as said, love is already there within you, you need not search it in someone who does not have respect for your existence in their life. This day is for feeling the presence of love within you first and then in the person you are with and celebrating this together. This is all I had to say on this beautiful day. Happy Valentine’s Day to all my readers. Go and express your love like never before. Or else, sit silently with eyes closed and feel it within you.

P.S:- I apologize to all the readers who have been posting comments and mailing about my disappearance. I hope I shall be more active from now on. 

Thanks.

ABHILASH RUHELA

Seizing Small Moments of Life

1740th BLOG POST -->>

How many moments do you remember from 2018 which does not involve the major events of your life? Are you thinking? Ok, Think. Did you remember some moments? One? Ok, think more. Two. It’s taking time? Fine. No problem. This is what is happening with most of us in this life which is so fast paced that we do not even give two cents of interest or time to the small moments that are filled with so much of love and happiness but keep on striving for that major event to happen and we believe that the whole essence of life shall come as an accumulation in that particular moment itself. Well, I believed the same till 2017 but had given myself a major goal to experience the small moments that come at regular intervals in life which provides enough satisfaction to you to move ahead in better speed and motivation towards your bigger goals.

The major part of getting this enlightening thought has been the benefit of meditation and reading about similar stuffs which made me realize the power of each moment we live in this life that we get in this body. Tomorrow we shall be part of some other body and the life of that body shall have its own limitations and liberties. But that is to witness, enjoy and struggle some other day. For now, we are in this body of human being known with a name that people call us with. It is time to reflect upon the moments that are just passing like that every day even without your notice in the life of a human being who is a divine soul in himself. Leave the hard or casual approach towards achieving the goals of your life that you are carrying with you. I hope you must have heard the esteemed judges’ comments in the reality shows when they say to a contestant that they need to practice more but they are being selected just because they were enjoying their own performance while performing. Hence, instead of just slogging or sleeping, whatever motivation you keep in your life, start living each moment and enjoying them to actually experience the LIFE that you are.

When I go back to 2018 and remember my moments, I realize the blissfulness of beautiful moments I have had alone and with people. Those solo walks in the nature while the sun rose in front of me. Those moments when I saw myself completing 10,000 steps daily for almost 21 days in streak. Those moments when I closed my eyes and after some time felt a natural peacefulness and joy of being just myself without much thoughts and stress. Those moments when a team mate in office came to me to celebrate an issue that he/she were able to solve after slogging for hours. Those moments when I was stuck in something very tiny but getting over it and feeling better about focusing on bigger things now than the minuscule stuff I was caught up in. Those moments when I received inspiration from the people I adore or personal appreciation from them. Those moments when I saw love in the eyes of people for me when I did something really touchy for them. Those moments when I reached the destination after long car drive and felt ecstatic about the fact that I was able to drive on new road and place without getting stuck somewhere.

These are small moments which I never noticed or gave any weight-age before 2018 but it made me such a machine that I only concentrated on achieving the targets in my personal and professional life without actually enjoying this amazing thing called LIFE which is the reason you and I are here and talking with each other. Now when I have celebrated these small events, I feel 2018 a sweet year per se among all the previous years I believed were my bests considering my personal achievements. I realized last year that life is not only about slogging but also about living. If you are not living and giving these moments a chance to leave its impact upon you, you shall not be able to enjoy even that bigger event you are waiting for. Even that shall pass just like that and you would start victimizing yourself for not being able to live life for decades. So, make yourself enough able to see yourself as a third person and realize the joy these small events bring with themselves. I am sure you will find a different pleasure in living this New Year which is wanting you to experience life better for next 360 days. Please do share your experiences when you felt the same about enjoying the small events of life.

Thanks.

ABHILASH RUHELA!!! 

Welcome New Year "2019" with new Resolutions!

1739th BLOG POST -->>

A New Year always comes with its own hope, excitement, curiosity and thrill. It can’t be avoided or neglected. It stays with you since the arrival of the December’s last week and stays for initial 2-3 months of the New Year. You wish to fix many things that you have been unable to. You wish to start a new lifestyle that you have been procrastinating for years. You wish to meet those people you haven’t from a long time. You wish to learn new things so that your professional life gets a boost. You wish for so many things from a New Year but as the desk calendar in front of me speaks for itself for the 1^st day of the year- “A jug fills drop by drop”. So, a New Year is nothing but a consolidation of all the 365 days where our effort should be in making every day a better day which eventually makes the whole year a better year than all the previous years of our life.

We, in this age of instant feedback through Facebook’s thumbs up and Instagram’s heart, need everything fulfilled within a moment. We just do not have patience to go through the whole journey to accept the result we have already implanted in our mind. Rather than focusing too much on the destination or deadline, we should focus upon the first step that we need to start with. And then if the task has always been difficult for us, we need to choose the easiest way possible to start the journey even though it’s a silly approach towards something very grandeur. Like in my case, every year I target for reading 52 books, if I would get frustrated in the month of January itself if I am unable to complete even two books, the target of reading 52 books will always remain to be unachievable and it would become a mountain for me of which I could never reach the peak. Hence, I give myself time in these cases and get into the zone gradually which eventually helps me complete my target 1-2 months before than the planned date.

Living the same life every year never counts as an experience. It’s like waking up, eating and sleeping every day. Is this life ever acceptable or even imaginable to you? For me, it’s a strict No. Hence, try adding a habit in your daily routine which would end up becoming a daily ritual for you without which your day would never end just like brushing your teeth is part of your day by default. Read any article, interview or biography/autobiography of your role model or idol and see what he did daily to become what he/she is today for which you adore and worship him/her. Add that in your routine in case you lack with ideas or wishlist. Try learning a new thing for your career or personal life’s benefit every month. This would eventually add up 12 new things that you would have learnt by the end of the year. Let them be as small a thing to learn as possible. That does not matter. Carrying the attitude of learning and actually converting that into an action is what matters to make your New Year a transforming year for you.

2018 has been special for me in many ways. I finally got myself enrolled into Isha Foundation’s Inner Engineering course and learnt how exactly to meditate and feel your inner self. I got a nice boom in terms of financial capacity with respect to my salary. My designation got upped by a position. I learnt little more tactics of how to deal with clients as I am in a service industry. I travelled a new city as per my plan. I read 58 books which is 6 more than my target of 52 books. I wrote 123 blog posts which is again 3 more than my yearly target of 120. I saved twice more money than what I had saved in 2017. I made many friends who follow spirituality talking with whom I feel blissed and ecstatic. I accepted many relationships which came my way and handled many that were on the edge of breaking up and broke up many which deserved to be broken up. I bought myself a DSLR with which I have planned to do some exciting stuffs in 2019. I bought myself an expensive G-shock watch which I was eyeing since my college time. I wrote diary regularly as my weekly ritual. I spent time with nature more than ever. I followed a healthy diet about 80% of the 365 days. I helped almost everyone who came to me for assistance.

These are few events that I could remember from 2018 which made me a better person than I was in 2017. The target for 2019 is same to keep following the daily, weekly, monthly and yearly rituals that I have adopted and add new habits too. The last year has been a bit of concern considering my health which made me take many leaves and just lie at home. This year with the help of meditation and exercise, I am expecting to reduce the number of days when I am sick on bed and gift myself a better body and energy than before. Rest, I would not like to talk much about what I have planned for 2019 but for you, I would like to tell the ones related to this space- there would be at least 150 blog posts with 52 book reviews, at least 30 movie reviews and at least 52 personal posts. So, let’s pull up our socks and roll into the New Year with all our energies devoted in improving ourselves each moment with gratitude towards other human beings, our planet Earth and the God who is not visible but keep providing us everything we need to keep continuing this amazing thing called LIFE.

On this note, A Very Happy New Year 2019 to all of you. Also convey my regards to your family and close friends.

Thanks.

ABHILASH RUHELA!!!