Sometimes Losing is more essential than Winning!

2068th BLOG POST

Well, it is after a long time when I am writing something too personal which I don’t know if it’s even required or not. But there’s a bug in my heart which is getting frustrated until I don’t end up writing it here. Since 2020, I got a bit more religious than I ever was. I started understanding few concepts and logics that Sanatan Dharm wishes to tell us. I started admiring the tales of Lord Ram and Krishn as they were really inspiring and taught about the depth of life than anything else. While reading a lot more, I got to know about fortnight fasting known as Ekadashi and I started keeping it since 2020 itself. It has become a great ritual for me which I love following and I even share the updates about it with my folks so that everyone can refrain themselves from any wrong or bad practices.

 

There is one very interesting fast out of all 24-26 Ekadashi fasting which occurs during the season of Summer and is known as Nirjala or Bhimsen Ekadashi. It basically means that you have to refrain from even consuming water for more than 24 hours. Definitely, it’s not easy to refrain myself as I am someone who drinks minimum 3 liters of water every day. Sometimes, the count reaches even beyond 5 liters. Earlier, the 3 Nirjala Ekadashis that I kept were during Work from Home phase when somehow, I managed to accomplish it successfully. This time, it was actually tough because I have started going to office. I was still of the notion that I will survive as I travel by car in A/C, office is completely A/C, my bedroom has an A/C. But no, it didn’t happen as easily as I had believed it would be.

 

I had my induction on the same day and every thing was fine until 4 PM when I started realizing that I am getting a headache. But as I always boost myself, I thought it’s a minor thing happening to me and let’s not focus upon it. Eventually, I started feeling drowsy and it seemed I would fall anytime whenever I tried walking around in office for something. I thought of just sitting at one place. Suddenly, I also started getting vomiting sensation and then I thought there’s something seriously hurting me within and I need to give-up. As soon as the word “GIVE-UP” came as a keyword, all the sensations within me started fighting against it. How can I give up on something that I have continued successfully for last 3 years? I would end up losing the consistency. And I am someone who loves being consistent- at least I try to be.

 

Lastly, I just couldn’t handle myself and I thought of just taking a sip thinking that it would be enough to feel better but it didn’t work. I gave a thought if I should drive myself back home or take a cab but my KEEP GOING attitude made me sit on the driving seat and start the journey back home. I kept feeling blank and drowsy while driving and I thought of taking left and park myself but then, I wasn’t in my senses to move my vehicle looking at all the vehicles, calculating their speed and accordingly move from extreme right to left. I thought of continuing on my lane and trust upon God to make me reach safely at home. Finally, when it was around 4-5 kms away from home, I could feel that I was about to vomit anytime. I was holding it for long but eventually, you can’t win against body’s nature.

 

Sensing the illness, I immediately pulled the cleaning cloth I use to dust my car and put it up on my lap so that I don’t end up messing myself and the car while vomiting. And the real tragedy happened here. Because I hadn’t eaten anything since last 24 hours, my body had nothing to throw out. At last, that one sip of water I managed to drink in office before leaving came out of the system and somehow the vomiting process relaxed. But it caused extreme pain to my chest, ribs, upper stomach and even the muscles of shoulder as it also got strained as it was trying to control steering while the body was struggling. I reached home, lied down on my bed and woke up after 4 hours just before midnight. Ate a bit of something which is allowed in fasting, drank few sips of water and juices before sleeping again after having 2-3 tablets for relaxing my headache and drowsiness.

 

Since then, there is a continuous extreme pain in my chest, ribs, neck, throat and few veins and muscles in left shoulder. I am suffering with short-breathe and what-not. I have learnt a very big lesson from this whole experience. We should give-up wherever necessary without flattering our egos. We need to understand that though we achieved something before doesn’t mean that we will keep achieving it always. There are times when we can fail and we should accept it graciously. Yes, there’s a disappointment that I couldn’t end fasting successfully but it wouldn’t have provided anything good even if I would have managed to complete it.

 

The Supreme Power would never want one of its creations suffer just because of a commitment he has made which is actually not bringing any change to this world. I also understood that our body can sometimes handle tedious tasks even in tough environment whereas it can’t accomplish the easiest of all even after having the most convenient set-up. We shouldn’t punish it for the same but understand it. I am glad that I reached home safely after having the most difficult driving session of my life where I was just praying to reach safely than anything. I wish I get better soon. I have a request from everyone reading this to please not push your body when it’s actually not needed. And Give-up when you know you can’t do it anymore after giving your best. Be cautious while trying any type of dieting, intermittent fasting, exercise or anything similar or otherwise. That’s it!

 

Thanks!

 

WRITING BUDDHA