17 December 2014 | By: Writing Buddha

And I ended up giving last examination of my life....

1177th BLOG POST -->>

       On 12th December, 2014, I gave last examination of my life. Here on wards, I would be tested and judged only through presentations and interviews. Never ever will I have to write subjective long answers to prove my knowledge. Giving the 5th semester examination of MCA has been one of the toughest job I have faced. I found myself in the same condition as I was in 12th std. The pressure was almost the same what I felt for those 10 days when my HSC exams were on. Now, if such pressure is experienced, you can understand through what state of mind I have just survived and reached here- to a place from where I am scribbling this post. It took me almost 5 days to become normal to be able to write my Blog Post for which I have been waiting from a long time. 

          Choosing MCA was one of the biggest decisions. If you are asking yourself to commit for something that will boil you for next 3 years, you are actually up for a wonderful task that's going to change you. If you ask me if I am the same person who took admission for MCA in 2012, I would say I don't even remember who that person was. I had completed my graduation from a good reputed college till then but I had no knowledge of my own field. Now I know each and everything related to what my field is about. I know what I need to have in the category of skills to find myself placed somewhere. Developing our skills was the job of the college just as teaching was. Well, we know what Indian Education is up to. Until and Unless, you do not sit for yourself, no teacher, guide or college can help you. Each and every marks that you score is of yours. Teachers have no role in defining your career at this stage of life. 

           Therefore, throughout MCA, stress was always with each one of us. Initially, there were politics in class and everyone were divided into groups but by the time we reached 3rd year, we saw ourselves discussing our career problems with almost anybody in the class without worrying if the person is really close to us that he/she would understand our doubt. But that's what a challenge full of journey does to you. It makes you adaptable, adjustable, competitive and humble. Even if you have confidence, you do not show it because you know the real time of judgment is very near where you would be revealed in front of all. You lose yourself and find a new facet of yours who is a struggle-r dying to get attention from the real entity which can secure our whole life. Whenever a rocket launches, the most crucial part is its launching phase. Once it goes up, scientists know they will achieve their target now. We are at the launching phase now and this is taking a toll over everyone caught up in this self-chosen course. 

            During the exam time, it was not as if only studies were in the mind. I had planned that I will give everything I have for this semester so that I can get good marks and improve my overall score. But the kind of pressure the word "Internship" developed in my brain, it became difficult to concentrate upon a particular topic. While studying, I would feel what if I study and someone else give their all in searching an internship. I would perform mediocre here while I would also be left without an internship. I would close the notes and go for uploading my resume on various websites. This would consume almost 6-7 hours incessantly. Then I would start worrying about almost 12-13 units in each subject and my preparation which didn't even qualify me to think about exams. This process would keep continuing in loop for the whole day and every day. 

             In the end, in every examination, I found myself dying to pass. My first paper itself sucked me like anything. Out of pressure, I didn't sleep nicely for any other paper to at least save others even if I trip in the first one. Somehow, the last examination of life ended and I breathe a sigh of relief. Now its time to give everything to this thing called INTERNSHIP which will decide if I complete MCA in the given time period or exceed it. Since 12th December, the real examination of life have begun. No company is calling for interview. No campus interview happening in college. Life seems to be disturbed and shattered. Friends are going to upgrade their own graph than thinking about my joblessness. So it's all about personal fight now for the next few weeks and then 6 months at stretch. Whenever I'll get the degree of MCA, I would consider it the biggest day of my life. I would be proud because I'd have completed something which I don't even deserve. Yes! :-)



1 CoMMenTs !!! - U CaN aLSo CoMMenT !!!:

Soulmate said...

I became scared for a moment while reading this blog.

Every student's life has its ups and downs. Exams, internships, jobs, results....life is so full of pressure and stress.

In my engineering days, we sat for exams and would cram subject units like crazy,while preparing for job interviews and placement tests was too on our heads. Parents, teachers, friends and siblings helped for moral support, but in the end, we were on our own. No one to share our stress levels.

But then with time, this phase too shall pass. And one day every one will have a job. And then we will look back at our lives and smile on thinking how crazy we were back then... :):)

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