The Good-Enough Parent by Kishore Das (Book Review: 3.5*/5)

2174th BLOG POST

15th Book of 2026

 

There are parenting books that tell you what you should do, books that make you feel guilty about what you are already doing, and then there are books that simply remind you that parenting was never supposed to be perfect. The Good-Enough Parent by Dr Kishore Das belongs largely to the third category.  With the tagline “Embracing the Science and Joy of Raising Secure Kids,” the book attempts to address one of the biggest problems modern parents face—not necessarily the lack of information, but the overwhelming amount of it. The book is published in around 270 pages by Rupa Publications.

 

Every parent today is surrounded by advice about feeding, sleeping, discipline, screen time, emotional development and almost everything else that happens between a child's birth and adulthood. Somewhere in this race to become the "perfect" parent, parenting itself can start feeling like an examination that we are constantly failing. Dr Kishore Das takes the opposite approach: you don't have to be perfect; you have to be good enough.

 

A paediatrician with more than four decades of experience, Das brings his professional understanding of children together with his experience as a father of two. The result is a book that tries to make parenting science understandable without turning it into a medical textbook. His professional background and family-centred approach are particularly relevant because the book isn't simply about children's physical development; a substantial part of it is about emotional security, relationships and the environment in which children grow.

 

What I particularly liked about the book is its wide canvas. Instead of beginning after the child is born, Das starts with preconception and pregnancy before moving into newborn care. Feeding, sleep and early communication are followed by some of the most important discussions in the book—attachment, authenticity, counterwill, peer orientation and emotional development.

 

The section on secure attachment is arguably the heart of the book. Das explains why a child's relationship with caregivers is much more significant than merely ensuring that the child is fed, educated and disciplined. The idea that children need emotionally available adults who can respond to them consistently is hardly revolutionary, but the way the book brings this into everyday parenting makes it meaningful.

 

Das points out that babies can develop meaningful bonds with multiple caregivers—not just their mother or father—and that grandparents and other trusted caregivers can also become important attachment figures when they respond to children lovingly and consistently.

 

I also enjoyed the book's attempt to move away from fear-based discipline. The chapters on emotional regulation and behaviour encourage parents to understand what lies behind a child's reaction rather than immediately labelling it as "bad behaviour". This is an important distinction because correcting behaviour without understanding emotion can sometimes solve the immediate problem without addressing the reason behind it.

 

The chapters dealing with modern parenting are equally relevant. Screens, peer influence and the changing environment in which today's children are growing up have created challenges that previous generations of parents didn't have to deal with in quite the same way. The book doesn't present parenting as a collection of rigid rules but repeatedly comes back to connection, communication and understanding.

 

Another positive is the author's accessible language. Complex ideas around child psychology and attachment can easily become academic, but Das generally keeps the discussion conversational. His professional experience gives the advice credibility, while his use of real-life experiences makes the book feel less like a lecture from an expert sitting above the reader.

 

However, this is also where I felt the book could have been better. The biggest limitation is its breadth. There is an enormous amount packed into these chapters—from preconception and breastfeeding to attachment, emotional regulation, executive function, play, discipline, screens and adolescence. While this makes the book useful as a broad parenting companion, some subjects inevitably don't receive the depth they deserve.

 

At times, I also wished the book had included more detailed real-world scenarios. Parenting becomes complicated when two perfectly reasonable principles collide—when a child's emotional needs conflict with parental boundaries, when grandparents have completely different parenting philosophies, or when parents themselves are exhausted and unable to respond ideally. More such situations, accompanied by different possible responses, would have made the practical value of the book even stronger.

 

Similarly, readers who have already consumed a lot of contemporary parenting and attachment literature may not find every idea completely new. The book's real strength isn't necessarily discovering an entirely new theory of parenting; it is bringing several important ideas together and making them approachable for ordinary parents. And perhaps that is exactly what the title promises.

 

The Good-Enough Parent doesn't try to create perfect parents because, as Das repeatedly reminds us, perfect parenting isn't the goal. The goal is to build a relationship in which children feel secure enough to explore the world, make mistakes, communicate their emotions and eventually become independent individuals - For new parents, parents expecting a baby, and even those navigating the complicated years of childhood and adolescence, there is something useful here.

 

More importantly, there is something reassuring. You may get things wrong. You may lose your patience. You may occasionally wonder whether you are doing enough. Because raising a child isn't about getting every decision right. It is about showing up, repairing when you get it wrong, understanding your child and continuing to grow alongside them.

 

Overall, The Good-Enough Parent is a warm, sensible and accessible parenting guide with an important message, although I felt some topics deserved greater depth and more situation-based examples. It may not completely transform the way experienced readers think about parenting, but it can certainly make them pause, reflect and perhaps feel a little less guilty about being imperfect.

 

I would rate this book 3.5 stars out of 5.

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WRITING BUDDHA

Twisted Minds by Anisha Dutta (Book Review: 3.5*/5) !!!

2173rd BLOG POST

14^th Book of 2026

 

There are books that entertain, books that educate, and then there are books that test your emotional endurance. Twisted Minds by Anisha Dutta comfortably falls into the last category. It is not a book you "enjoy" reading. It is a book you survive.

 

The book opens with two of history's most infamous serial killers—Ed Kemper and Ted Bundy—and honestly, I struggled to continue after the very first chapter. Kemper's crimes, especially those involving his own mother, are narrated with such chilling detail that I genuinely felt nauseated. If the author's intention was to prepare readers for the darkness that follows, she certainly succeeds. Ironically, beginning with the most horrifying accounts makes the remaining chapters comparatively easier to digest.

 

Spread across twenty chapters, Twisted Minds takes readers across continents—from America and India to Colombia, Russia, Pakistan, Iran, Brazil and beyond—introducing some of the world's most notorious serial killers. Each chapter attempts to reconstruct their lives, crimes, psychological patterns and the circumstances that may have shaped them. The result is a deeply researched compilation that raises an uncomfortable question throughout: Are monsters born, or are they created?

 

One recurring pattern becomes impossible to ignore. Whether it is emotional neglect, abusive parenting, traumatic childhoods, dysfunctional family environments or severe psychological disorders, many of these killers seem to have emerged from deeply fractured lives. While this certainly does not justify their actions, the book repeatedly suggests that the environment in which a child grows up often leaves scars that may manifest in unimaginable ways. Reading one account after another, I was left wondering how ordinary children gradually transformed into individuals who found satisfaction in killing not one or ten people, but in some cases hundreds.

 

Among all the chapters, Pedro Alonso López's story stood out as the finest piece of writing in the book. Instead of simply listing facts, Anisha Dutta adopts an almost fictional narrative style, recreating his background and psychological evolution in a way that keeps readers invested. It reads less like a case file and more like a tragic descent into darkness. Considering López confessed to murdering more than 300 young girls across multiple countries, the chapter carries an emotional weight that stays with you long after it ends.

 

Equally fascinating is the chapter on Ed Gein. Unlike many others in the book, Gein's notoriety wasn't solely built on murder but on his disturbing obsession with exhuming corpses and transforming human remains into household artefacts. The author's attempt to connect this behaviour with his unhealthy attachment to his deceased mother makes this one of the most psychologically intriguing cases in the collection.

 

Another memorable account is that of Pedro Rodrigues Filho, better known as "Killer Petey." What makes his story unusual is that he believed many of his murders were acts of justice against people he considered evil. Even more astonishing is his later transformation into a YouTube personality who educated people about crime and self-defence. It is one of those rare chapters that demonstrates how contradictory and layered a criminal mind can sometimes appear.

 

Javed Iqbal's story is perhaps among the most shocking. The sheer calculation behind maintaining a diary documenting his murders—and then handing it over to the police after his arrest—is disturbing enough. What makes it even more horrifying is learning how meticulously he ensured that even the physical remains of his victims would disappear. Some realities are stranger—and darker—than fiction.

 

Indian readers will also appreciate the inclusion of criminals closer to home. Raman Raghav, whose crimes even inspired a Bollywood film, Charles Sobhraj—the infamous "Bikini Killer" who operated across Asia—and Kampatimar Shankariya remind us that such stories are not confined to the West. The geographical diversity makes the book far more engaging than focusing solely on American serial killers.

 

However, the book is not without its shortcomings. While the early chapters are detailed and immersive, the final few feel noticeably shorter. Some killers receive only brief summaries, making it evident that either limited historical information was available or the narrative simply couldn't explore them in similar depth. After the richness of the earlier chapters, this inconsistency is difficult to overlook.

 

My larger concern, however, lies elsewhere. By the time I finished the book, I found myself asking a question I hadn't expected: What did I really gain from reading it? Unlike books on psychology, criminology or forensic science that leave readers with broader insights, Twisted Minds often circles back to similar explanations—broken childhoods, abusive parents, neglected emotional development and mental disorders. I had hoped every killer would represent a distinctly different psychological case study, offering new perspectives into criminal behaviour. Instead, many chapters eventually converge on familiar conclusions, making the psychological exploration feel somewhat repetitive.

 

More importantly, this is not a book everyone should pick up casually. Some incidents described here are deeply disturbing and can stay with readers for days. There were moments when turning each page itself felt like a challenge. It became one of the most emotionally exhausting books I have ever read.

 

That said, credit must be given where it is due. Anisha Dutta has clearly invested significant effort in researching these notorious figures and presenting their stories in an accessible narrative. The book succeeds in making readers think about the fragile intersection between psychology, upbringing and criminality, even if it occasionally stops short of providing deeper analytical interpretations.

 

If you are fascinated by true crime, criminal psychology and real-life investigations, Twisted Minds offers an informative journey through twenty of history's most infamous predators. Just be prepared—it is not a comfortable read, nor is it meant to be. My rating for this book would be 3.5* out of 5.

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WRITING BUDDHA

The Weight of Good Intentions!!!

2172nd BLOG POST

What are we built of— Memories? Experiences? Communication? Expectations? Past? Future? Present? What?

 

Every time life brings a phase or moment where I am asked to prove myself or define my actions, which have been of good intent at their best, I just start questioning the whole existence of life itself or my life in particular. Every year we celebrate our birthday with the belief that we have grown a year wiser. But have we? I don’t think so. We still end up fighting over the pettiest issues. We still bring up problems which shouldn’t exist in the first place. We fall apart from friends and relatives because of silly ego issues. We leave a job because of a small concern, ending up unemployed or unhappy in a new place for years and, sometimes, a lifetime.

 

What are we learning on a daily basis then? If you sit alone, you question everything that you do and don’t do to ensure that you only take the best actions to protect, maintain, and nourish your relationships with all the important people around you. Then one day you understand that most people are still not happy with you and your efforts despite you trying to be one of the best people in their lives. Why? They have their own experiences, judgments, prejudices, etc., which make them see you in the manner they want to. Even if you give up your life to save someone, that person might end up saying that you did it for your own benefit. What options are left for you then?

 

If you stop making efforts, you know that the situation will worsen. If you keep at it, you know that people still might blame you for a crime that happened on the other side of the planet. Your sacrifices will never be counted. Your love will never be acknowledged. Your multitasking to ensure that every part of life is in place will never be appreciated. But then, are we expecting others to do this for us? Or are we doing it to impress others and gain their approval? If not, then we are doing it in the goodwill and betterment of our own lives and others' as well. But then, where are the results?

You might never get them. You might never reach the place in life that will give you complete satisfaction or happiness, along with those around you. Life is painful, and that’s one of its key properties. You can’t take that away from yourself. What one can do is learn to bear that pain and not let it escalate into suffering. But again, for that, you will have to give yourself priority over others. You need to give time to yourself—heal yourself—before dealing with the atrocities of life again. But again, will people understand why your efforts have shifted towards yourself and not them? Never! Deal—just deal with it! LIFE!

 

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WRITING BUDDHA