Why is 1st week of August so special to me!

2019th BLOG POST

The 1^st week of August is quite a nostalgic moment for me. I had joined by 1^st college and office on 3^rd August in 2009 and 2015 respectively whereas I had joined the PG college on 1^st August in 2012. Whenever the calendar gets changed to August, the first thought that my mind strikes is about all these new journeys that got initiated in this month which is full of good memories. I have met so many new people in each of these places out of which few people have stuck along and are still part of my life. Some of them have become friends who are nothing less than families. Yes, it takes time to understand which friends are here to stay whereas who are with us only for time-being and special occasions but I believe, a decade is enough to understand that.

 

College has been such a beautiful experience of my life. The way my introvert-self got comfortable in giving presentations in front of the whole class without worrying about what the result of it would be made me a confident person. Though the nervousness and self-criticism still exist which makes other see me as an under-confident personality walking around but somewhere in my heart, a small cell is always pushing me to perform and deliver whatever has to be shared with the people sitting to hear me out. I don’t think I would have got my personality transformed if it would not have been for the kind of teachers and classmates I met in my first college.

 

Talking about the experience in PG, it was more about beating the fear of getting failed in the upcoming semester. Haha! Every semester came up with tough subjects which became hard to understand even the purpose of it in our curriculum. The class had some really amazing students – some of them who were always involved in studies – some of them who balanced well between studies and masti whereas some who never looked like geeks but would score extremely well in the results. I always had to put extra efforts in order to ensure that I don’t get failed in any of the subjects – leave competing with any of them. Though, there were instance in almost every semester when I performed among top 2 in either of the 6-8 subjects. Enough massage to my ego happened during the result times. Haha! I always remember PG as a place which made me leave my comfort zone and learn things, I still feel I was greatly incapable of. This makes me realize the importance of right environment – it makes you do things you would have otherwise not even tried.

 

Now talking about the 1^st Job, well, what can be more peaceful in life than finally getting your 1^st job which will give you your very 1^st salary and make you achieve the ultimate goal of finding a place to earn. The loneliness you feel initially when you are the only new person in the space whereas everyone else are gelling together, making jokes whereas you are acting to be doing something on your desktop. Similarly, everyone is equipped with their tasks whereas you are still struggling to understand what your senior just explained you. You have no one to help you. You are regularly under radar of being judged for your performance. You are under panic incessantly thinking if you’ll be able to survive here and be one of these confident people doing their work aggressively and effectively. Eventually, things do fall into place but the initial days are very scary and doubtful.

 

All these memories make you realize how far you have come from where you started. It makes you believe in yourself whenever you fall down in life. You remember all those tough days in these new places where you eventually started belonging as if it’s your second home. You eventually owned your position and left with good impression. When my teachers and ex-colleagues talk with me today, it gives a peaceful feeling that past was good irrespective of its challenges and hurdles. I did something to be still remembered. You start thinking about your current times if all is going well and you get assured of your future that things will eventually fall in place because that’s what past data reflects upon. You know that you have been 100% successful in all the tests life made you appear in – the result because of which you are what you are today – either successful, on the way to be one or the one who is still exploring his path but with better mindset. Thanks, August, for always bringing these positive memories and nostalgic emotional moments remembering all good humans who were part of daily lives then but are not even in touch today.

 

Thanks!

 

WRITING BUDDHA 

Thoughts after watching: JugJugg Jeeyo

2018th BLOG POST

Last weekend, I watched JugJugg Jeeyo on Amazon Prime – a time pass family entertainer which will make you laugh here and there. Well, this is not a review but something that I was thinking while watching the movie based on the story and characters in it. The movie is majorly talking about marriage issues and the relationship between parents and children. Both of these concerns are very valid in terms of the changing society and some mindset not getting changed with it. I personally believe for myself that it takes me enough courage to accept few changes happening around me and I am not generally comfortable with all of them. It also happens at times that I am okay validating something that’s about me but when someone else is doing the same, I judge them immediately. We call this as human nature and leave it behind but the fact is that humans have kept on evolving otherwise, we would have still generated fire by creating friction between two flintstones.

 

There’s a scene where Varun gets to know that like him, even his father wants to take divorce. This suddenly ruins his mood and he gets into a victim mindset. Something that he felt was right for him all along in his 5 years of love marriage when he decided to part ways with his wife, he couldn’t appreciate his father taking the same decision. Why? Just because it also involved his mother in it who’ll have to suffer heartbreak and loneliness in her old age, right? But wasn’t he also suffering the same loneliness irrespective of being in a marriage of his choice even when he lived under the same roof with his wife?

 

This reaction happened only because the character of Varun couldn’t look at his parents beyond being his parents. He couldn’t understand that they are individuals in themselves and there can be a situation where they would like to leave the marriage behind  and move on even after 30+ years of living together. Children should understand that their parents are more than being just their mother and father respectively. They are an individual themselves before being a parent. Our society is created in a way that a couple’s life gets completely changed after having a baby and revolves only around them but that doesn’t make them just parents and nothing else. They can still have their own life, choices, decisions which can be against what family believes. Until when can an individual take decision that co-ordinates with family? There comes a time when the volcano of frustration and silence bursts out and burns everyone.

 

Similarly, there’s another scene between Varun and Kiara – according to me which is the most well-written piece in the movie where they are complaining about what went wrong in their 5 years of marriage. Though it has also been shown in first few minutes of the movie but this scene makes the characters speak about it to each other. You realize in that scene how things were very clear in their home since long but both of them remained silent about it which led them to this outburst which is like contradicting all your earlier silences at once. What if they had regularly discussed about what the other partner wants before taking any decision? If it wasn’t in compliance, how can they do it in a way which doesn’t impact another on an emotional level.

 

Kiara tells it to Varun in another scene about how he is wrong about his family which he is unable to take it. We must accept that there can be a possibility that an outsider or someone not in 1^st circle of your family understand your parents and siblings better than you. We get very offended when someone tells us that we don’t understand our parents, siblings or children well. When someone else tells us something about them or how to handle them, we get irritated or just shrug it off thinking – It is my family, I know how to handle it. But the truth may be that we don’t. We are one another walking creature on this planet and not God. We can’t be perfect. There is a chance that someone else is closer to our favorite people and we must accept this fact if it comes as a fact and not interference. Hence, either our attempt in life should be to be closer to our family and know about their changing attitude and preferences and not get surprised later on or we should give the other person the authority to serve them before us if they deserve it. We are family by chance not choice hence there is possibility of not being so well-equipped with their wills and dreams if we have been mostly self-centered or busy in our own things.

 

Well, enough! Thanks!

 

WRITING BUDDHA 

Empowering you beyond Birthing by Mahima Bakshi (Book Review: 3.5*/5) !!!

2017th BLOG POST

20^th Book of 2022

 

There are few authors who write continuously on a single topic for a vision that they have in their mind for bringing a change in society. Writing books on the subject is their mission towards fulfilling their vision. One such author who’s on a mission is Mahima Bakshi. Her 1^st book was “Birthing Naturally” which spoke about how a mother should take care of themselves so that they can be as fit as possible when it’s finally time for their baby to arrive. Just after that, she has now released a 131-pages short book with Rupa publications named “Empowering you beyond Birthing”. I got chance to read this one which is a guide for new parents on postnatal well-being and equal parenting.

 

The book is very short which’ll make it easy for parents to go through it quickly and mark important points relevant to them. Mahima has further divided the book into 18 different chapters to give ample focus to the specific point she wishes to talk and elaborate about. Our generation has been quite cut-off from all the Ayurveda and ancient methods that was nicely adopted by our grandparents leading to which the situation has become so grim that many couples are not even wanting to have baby as they don’t know how will they go through the initial days post-pregnancy. Some of them are so nervous that they keep on postponing the pregnancy as they don’t know how they’ll handle their lifestyle, daily routine, weekend mastis and baby – all at the same time. Such books are crucial for parents running short of time due to plenty of workload and yet getting suggestions on how to plan expansion of their family.

 

The book resolves to clear doubts and concerns of new parents and in most chapters, Dr. Bakshi is successful in her goal. She has not only spoken on high-level topics but granular and minute level details too. Her research work and social interest towards ensuring better execution from parents on family planning is evident in her writing approach right from the first page. I liked those letters she has written to mother, father and at times, to both the parents after every chapter. It talks directly with you which makes you feel author’s words strongly. Mahima covers the aspects right from hospitalization to breastfeeding to post-partum depression to handling your child to finally getting back to your romantic sexual life with your partner.

 

Author focuses on the need of equal parenting. Just as gender equality has become a thing, Bakshi regularly wants us to understand that equal parenting is also needed for the couple to ensure none of them gets into an overwhelming or depressive situation. Though I felt Mahima talking more on behalf of mothers which is quite obvious but I felt personally that there are lot of points which could have been covered from fathers’ perspective too. I’ll talks about this later in the review. Anyway, her intentions are clear where she doesn’t want mother to lose her individuality because of having a baby whereas father continuing living the same life as before without realizing that it’s his equal responsibility too.

 

I liked the practical approach of the author where she discusses mothers to call either their mother or mother-in-law to stay with them in initial days to make the job easier for them. Author also explains why gap is needed between the 1^st and 2^nd pregnancy to ensure that the mother is completely ready for it rather than getting into the same sleepless routine again. Mahima also talks about the body care needed for mother and how to initiate or resume workouts gradually in order to lose their weight and get back to their previous shape without getting depressive about it. I am glad author speaks about post-partum depression – something many people don’t realize that a woman goes through.

 

Now talking about the drawbacks, I must say – there are many points which author could have added with detailing of exercises, recipes, diets etc. to be followed in this case. Also, book could have included how to cope up with the cases where mother loses child during operation etc. as it’s something which has majorly impacted many women. As the book focuses on equal parenting, I also wished if Mahima could have made women, specifically, understand why fighting for child custody in case of divorce by not letting father meet their child even once is cruelly damaging for the child’s mental health. Like, she has mentioned tips specifically for men multiple times, this serious issue should have also been explained to the mother in the book – prominently in a dedicated chapter.

 

From father’s perspective, how he also goes through several mental issues could have been discussed. A father starts doubting his ability to take care of his child due to financial issues or career stagnancy at times. They also start getting worried about family’s future as sometimes, mother takes decision of not working forever after holding their child for the first time emotionally. Men also starts getting irritated due to reduction in their sex life, being sleep-deprived yet attending office the next day and coming back home to handle mood-swings and depression of their wife. Such important issues should have also been included to make this book an equal guide for both – men and women. Currently, it majorly speaks from mother’s behalf – fathers might not get answer of many things they wished to know.

 

Overall, this is a book written with good intention and it can serve you well in your pregnancy and post-pregnancy days. It will be helpful in resolving most of your concerns. I give this book 3.5 stars out of 5. Please have it if you are planning for a baby; or gift it to someone you know is pregnant or already handling a new born baby. They will never forget this gift from you.

PURCHASE THE BOOK HERE

 

Thanks!

 

WRITING BUDDHA