He is GAY. What's Your Problem?

            552nd BLOG POST -->>

       Whenever I ask any of my friend who have just entered an organization about what were the questions that were being asked to them in an interview, the one question which I normally get to hear from them is "Tell us something about YOURSELF". Now, there are many of us who don't even know about ourselves. I remember I and my friends were playing a game once. We were to write 20 points about ourselves out of which 10 would be the best part we have in us and the other 10 would be the worst things we have in us. Then we also had to reveal something which is too shameful for the society but we committed it once in our life. And so many things came out through that Group Discussion. I have seen development in my personality and thought process after that interaction. That was a moment where I learnt so many things. I learnt that it's not necessary to be the best. Neither is it necessary to be like everyone in this world. We can be something which people don't get to see often. But we should not be ashamed to tell people about it. We should be open about ourselves. And if we don't, something like this happens to us-


             "Hey remember me? well, I wanted to tell that its been quite a while dat I was away..so cudnt read ur blogs n all.. kaise ho? and, another thing...check out my wall. u will know something. shayad uske baad ur attitude towards me might change. lekin i cudnt control any longer. bahut der tak chhupake rakkha tha,...koi chori toh nahi kia na...then y shud i give a wrong picture? im gay. and quite a decent and honest one. i know normally kya perception hai logo ka GAYS ke baare mein. but mujhse aur control nahi hota. thak gaya hu jhoot bolte bolte.sach toh yeh hai ke im attracted to men. but I never do things that portray gays in a cheaper light. main bahut senti hu, cheerful hu, thoda effeminate hu, par kabhi kisi ko hurt nahi kia, kisi se flirt nahi kia, etc etc./.
im sory I took so much time of you but mujhe aaj ye bolna hi tha. and that too to u bcoz i admire ur writing and u very much. jo bhi mann mein aye reply karna. i will accept." 


              The above paragraph is a message I got from a regular reader of my blogs. We had chats for some 3-4 times before in 2011 but I never knew this about him. Today, in the morning, when I saw this message I was shocked. I wasn't shocked about him being a gay but I was shocked to see his mental state because of the mental pressure society has built on him. He updated his Facebook status saying that "Judge as much as you can. But let me tell all- I am a GAY". Now, consider yourself at his place and imagine yourself doing this. How hard it is. Even if you aren't, try writing this just as a good sense of humour and you will find raunchy and sarcastic comments on your status. It is very hard to tell the world what you are, and especially when, you are something at which society laughs and consider it to be ungraceful. Now, I don't understand why do people have concerns about someone's sexual orientation. 


             I saw the same kind of thing in Roadies Audition too. A gay came and he asked them to hide his face, name, city name and almost everything which would make the viewers recognize him. At that time, I thought that this may be fake or pre-planned but today, after reading this message, I am sure that almost all the gays in this world are suffering from the same kind of depression. A depression where a person can't tell about HIMSELF openly in the society as he would be laughed on. He has a fear that his parents, his friends and almost everyone he knows may leave him apart and isolate him from their group. He even told me that the boys who used to make his fun in college later asked him to sleep with them. This guy, now, after revealing to the world that he is Gay, is laughing on them that at least he is true to himself and society that people know who he is but these boys are hiding themselves from the world and dying to experience what they always want to. 


             I don't understand why society pushes such people behind. There are only two options in this world in relation to Sexual approach- Either getting attracted towards Opposite Sex or Your Own Sex. Now, if someone does't qualifies to be in the former one, he automatically comes in to the latter one. Now, why to laugh on him? Why to make him feel that he is a disgrace to society? Can't people allow him to live life as everyone does? I think that this should be stopped. Whenever I meet a new person, I ask about his job, schooling, degrees, friends, location, native place and almost everything but I have never taken their Sexual Orientation in to the consideration to know what they actually are. Their Sexual Orientation is something which will bring no effect in my life. We should stop judging people on the criteria of their sexual approach. 


            Stupid Indians say that being a Gay or Lesbian is against our culture. Haven't you seen those carvings on the walls of caves or other walls where nude ladies are being carved on the walls having intimate moments with each other? Haven't you seen two ladies and a man having Sex in the same carving? So, this is something which is happening in our country from a long time. It is just that people are in minority who do this today, that doesn't make it illegal or a crime. You can not bully someone for being a Gay. I am too disturbed after reading the message of this guy and after talking to him for an hour. He is depressed because people are not allowing him to live peacefully. They are sending him Gay jokes and insulting SMSes from the time he has revealed himself. Stop this, friends. Give him a chance to live his life on his own terms. And Sexual Orientation is just a thing about a person out of lots of thing. It is not the basic thing you see in a person while talking to him/her for the first time. So, please ignore it rather than giving it an importance and making a fool out of them in front of everyone. Understand, they are not Gays or Lesbians by choice, it is something which their Body has asked them to be just like mine and your's body asked us to get appealed by the Opposite sex's body. UNDERSTAND !!!


 Thanks.


 ABHILASH RUHELA - VEERU

As Dangerous As Ragging !!!

            551st BLOG POST -->>

       "That girl you called a slut in class today. She's a virgin. The pregnant girl walking down the street . She got raped . The boy you called lame. He has to work every night to support his family. That girl you pushed down the other day. She's already being abused at home. That girl you called fat. She's starving herself. The old man you made fun of cause of the ugly scars. He fought for our country. The boy you made fun of for crying. His mother is dying. You think you know them. Guess what? You don't! Re-post if you are against bullying. I bet 99% of you won't, but you're that 1% with a heart.♥"


            This is a message I got on Facebook which almost blew me. It is so right. Do we ever think before laughing on someone or bullying him/her? We don't. And thus when I saw this I felt it so true that I wanted it to be shared to as many as possible and hence I copy-pasted it here. There have been many instances when I have done this to people and I came to know it later that they are dealing with something related to it which is damn serious. I used to laugh on a boy in school because he never bought tiffin and he always ate from the tiffins of his friends. One day, he told me that his mother has died and his father has married another lady who don't even talk to him and hence he don't get even dinner at home and thus he eats whatever he gets from his friends' tiffin. That was a shocking element for me. Then, I used to make fun of a boy in my college who always went in our college's toilet/washroom for shitting. One day, a friend of mine told me that he lives in a chawl where they have to share a single public toilet on which 50 people of their area are dependent. That was again a Blow on my face.


             In the same way, people used to make fun of my voice in school as I used to stammer a lot. I always felt shy to talk but no one knew that I started talking when I crossed 4.5 years of my age, because of which I lacked confidence whenever I uttered something. I am sibling-less and hence, whenever Raksha-bandhan came in school, everyone used to have Rakhis in their hand except me, they made my fun but they never realized that I don't have a sister and it pains me. In my coaching class in 11th std when I used to attend Chate coaching classes, pupil used to call me "psycho" whenever any teacher used to ask my name, they even did it whenever the attendance used to be taken, they never understood that I was facing that problem really and my psychologist treatments were on. Even today, I am being made fun of somethings which I can't deal with and improve myself. And hence, the first paragraph is very important to keep it in our brain and tongue always. I have been a victim of this and I have also been a criminal of bullying someone unintentionally. So, never ever make someone's fun just because he is not like other normal beings. You never know what they are victim of. 


        Thanks.


 ABHILASH RUHELA - VEERU

Bhai, tum sign kar rahe ho ya nahi?

            550th BLOG POST -->>

       Today, we had a mid-term presentation on the software projects we are creating in our final semester of Bachelors of Computer Applications. We were told on Monday that we have to face this storm after 2 days. All of us looked at each other's face as we are seeing it for the next two days and after that, the person will die. :-) The amount of pressure built in everyone's brain was not less than what Sachin Tendulkar is going through. Last week, we gave our Unit Test for this Semester. As obvious, we gave our Ass to it. :-) We are yet to get our result but we almost know that it is something which we can never share with our parents. :-) They would get a minor heart-attack after seeing how their 50,000 rs of each year is being wasted because their children has a brain which understands everything except studies. This week, we were told about this presentation when we had our full focus on the MCA CET exam which is going to be held this Sunday. No one expected that our college which calls itself a medium to get our Management and Entrepreneurship skills developed will plan a mid-term presentation in a week in which we are preparing for something which will decide our next THREE years and to be little too much correct, our whole professional life. 


             Finally, today, in the morning, when all of us saw each other, we were quite sure that everyone of us has seen the whole night in front of our eyes. Because, either some of us were working on our presentations while others may not have slept because of extreme tension in their head (if we have one which works :-)). Then, we entered with our project partners to the hall allotted to us. Out of 10 project groups, 5 were in my hall while other 5 were in the opposite hall. In our hall, project presentation started with my group. We gave something which we had the least idea about. At any point (during the presentation),whenever we were pinged for lack of quality, we just nodded our head and promised them that we will add the features in our project and make it as they wanted it to be. Then, we, the project members used to look at each other's face and pass a hidden smile that they are really thinking that we are going to add something to this PERFECT PLANNED PROJECT by us. :-) 


            After all the presentations in our hall was completed, we went to the opposite hall where our other saathis were getting their ass burnt. In the next 3 minutes, I almost got a depressing feel. Yes. The faculties who were sitting here as the judges were shouting and screaming on the presenters as they have prepared something which is too shameful and almost-a-crime. The only thing which our friends were doing was- getting themselves screwed sweetly without uttering a word in defense. They know that once a word in defense is spoken, the ass will be turned into ashes by keeping it on a hot stove. I was feeling quite bad for them but there was nothing which I could have done there to save them from getting attacked by these terrorists (in the form of teachers). :-) At last, everyone in this hall nodded to whatever they said, either in guidance or in insult. For some of them, I felt for laughing while for others, I literally felt bad. No, now don't call me an evil because I laughed on some of them, I even laugh when I get screwed in the class. I am little abnormal in these situations. :-)


            And now, sitting in my bedroom, I was thinking about the whole scenario and I thought, why can't we object to the statements uttered by these teachers which are pure contradiction according to us. Then, I remembered something. I was given an offer for a writing project where I was asked to do something which I never want to. They told me that I'll get sufficient money by doing that for them. But it was something I never wanted to. For a moment, my heart said "Go for it". As all of you know the life of student, we never have bucks in our pocket to spend it as Kings do. :-) But then, I remembered something I wrote in my personal diary in relation to the purpose and reason why I blog. I remembered all those points and limits I made for myself. Yes, one has been crossed this week by using "fuck" in my blog posts. :-) 


           So, I came to a conclusion that just for some 4-digit amount, I am not going to cheat my readers. I refused. Then, I had a chat with a writer who is a good friend of mine. I told him the whole scenario and he said to me that I should not have rejected it as many bloggers are dying to get these kinds of offers. He said to me that as I am trying to be a major part in this Writing industry, I will have to sign many Terms and Conditions in my life where I would be against each and every point mentioned in it. He even gave an example of Bollywood actresses. He said that who wants to show their skin to the world. But as they have to secure their position in the industry, they have to sign those terms and conditions given by the producers. And this is how, even writers and everyone in the world works. 


            I got my answer immediately that even if these teachers sometimes hurl abuses and humiliating statements on us, we will have to bear it just because we are in a need of Degree and Marks. Such situations will keep coming in our life when I will have to listen to all those things for which I would have hit anyone. But, at that moment, I will have to bear those harsh words because my future and my career would be the pendulum of it. If our teachers want us to get screwed by developing our project 40% more than what we planned and executed, we will have to fulfill their needs. Because, its all about our journey of life. These situations are meant to be handled. No one provides you an easy path. Everyone tries to twist your path as much as they can. It is up to you and your bearing powers. But here, the case is different, even if you don't have such kind of bearing powers, you will have to still bear it. :-) 


          So, buddies, get ready to sign such Terms and Conditions throughout your life where each and every mention would be something which you may never agree till your death BUT STILL YOU WILL SIGN IT WITH YOUR PARKER PEN. :-) My best wishes *wicked smile*


     Thanks.


 ABHILASH RUHELA - VEERU